Critical Mass Panic

Wet and cloudy skies earlier in the day dried up just enough to allow a gorgeous sunset around 7pm last Friday. Though the damp day had been replaced by a cool evening, dozens of bicycle riders and other free-wheeling types gathered at Union Square North. Approximately 30 people with bikes socialized for approximately 45 minutes in the approximate center of the approximately public space. The "Guardians of Safety," a.k.a. the NYPD, smartly positioned themselves around the un-licensed street-users who were a mere 20 people short of being illegally lacking a parade permit. Their brassy finery sparkling in the urban dusk like so many stars in the pre-industrial twilight-skies, top cops huddled between SUVs and motor-scooters creating a formidable mass of metal and flesh on the northwest corner. To the southwest, a less-dazzlingly attired half-dozen scooter patrol-men lounged around. Though looking bored and perhaps a bit cold, these, the most-mobile of police man/vehicle hybrids...

Bike bells ring, will you slow down, I'll speed up, together we make the streets bloom Riding through the winter months, one can easily forget how densely populated New York City is. With the onset of summer-like conditions last week the streets of Brooklyn were suddenly and utterly filled with happy people on bicycles. Roving masses of 5 or 6 riders occurred intentionally and not. It is going to be a beautiful spring and summer. Ride safe!

Two riders chatting in the heavily-misted Grand Army Plaza failed to attract the attention of the two other bicyclists who happened to pass through around 7pm. Police tripled their vehicle presence from last month, with two unmarked cars and a van. The apparent lack of interest led one rider to depart. The other made a phone call, then proceeded to make his way out to the street. The driver of an undercover vehicle asked the rider if anyone else was going to show up. The rider answered in the negative, and then invited the officers to escort him down Flatbush Avenue. Though the banter between the lone wet cyclist and the three or four officers packed into the sedan was cordial, the NYPD declined the opportunity to fulfill its duty to police Critical Mass to the fullest extent of the law, and beyond. I'd really like to know if there is any standard police protocol for how many cyclists constitute a Critical Mass. As we saw last month, four cyclists constituted a "Critical Mass...

A recent memoir by a police officer in Minnesota who did undercover surveillance of civilians planning protests the 2008 RNC. His book is full of juicy facts, and this lovely excerpt on Critical Mass is a highlight: We met at Loring Park, straddling bikes scrounged from the police bicycle impound garage. Like the ugly, rheumy-eyed dog from the pound that nobody wanted, these were unclaimed bikes that would be auctioned off or given away. They were not in terrible shape, but neither were they modern, well cared for, or tuned up. A bike aficionado from our department lubed up the gears and checked the brakes. He probably saved our lives. After some encouraging words from Minneapolis Police Chief Tim Dolan, we sat off on the streets of downtown Minneapolis with the Minneapolis Bike Cops as escorts. The beautiful late-August day was warm and sunny. Five hundred riders filled both lanes of traffic for about five or six city blocks. The bike cops made sure that cars sharin...

Friday's "!st fR!deay" was immensely successful! Thank you to all who came out and made the streets a little more fun and kind. A few auto-automatons called riders harmless names, while a few used their motor-boxes to threaten fellow road users in a not-so-harmless way. Other than this, the reception on the streets from the car-free street-users was warm and friendly, especially thanks to the radio transmitter that kept the funky tunes flowing from several radios that riders strapped on to their bikes. "Tune your radio to 106.3!" became the ride's rallying cry. !st fR!deay did, however, experience a bit of token police harassment. While traveling with traffic eastward through the Chelsea district, riders were joined by a lone NYPD Interceptor vehicle. At ninth avenue, the group stopped at a red light. The physically-separated bicycle lane running down the avenue creates a marked bike-box beyond the pedestrian crosswalk. Most of the riders stopp...

The review of documentary photographs and video is conclusive. In a city that boasts at least 15,000 bicycle commuters , the freely (dis)organized event known as "Critical Mass" consisted of 3 cyclists this past Friday. Admittedly, the commuter statistic is derived from fair-weather riders between the months of April and October, but one would think that with this kind of population density, you could get at least 5 people to commute together on bicycles even in the dead of winter. They can do it in Anchorage Alaska . I don't know if the kids are turning this particular phrase anymore these days, but c'mon NYC, that is some weak sauce. This is lamer than an Obama presidency. In fact, "Critical Mass" proved last week that it is easier to get people engaged in inane task of throwing snowballs at a monument, than to ride a bike this time year. This photo does not show it, but several passers-by, including a little girl, joined in coating this rock-hard tower i...