Critical Mass Panic

Well, its been ages since I've posted. I wish I had the energy to keep it up. But I just don't right now. I am too busy preparing to become a police officer, so that I can get away with assaulting and killing , like so many of our other brave men and women in uniform around the world. The law is a joke, the justice system is a joke, NYPD is a joke, Judges Kaplan and Wiley are big clowns. We are all the punchline. Ride safe, no matter what the law says.

I am reduced at this point to posting an e-mail I sent...hope you can all make it for a historic Friday. ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Mellow Yellow Date: Tue, Jun 22, 2010 at 11:03 AM Subject: Bike Power funspill continues to wreak havok on mundane life!! To: brooklynmass@lists.mutualaid. org Hey you. Yeah, you, looking so good on that bike, or unicycle. You on those roller blades, or that long-board. You, loving yourself, your streets, your city, and your community. Its summer! After a week recovering from that epic WNBR, I think I am not the only one ready to roll out together again! Below are some suggestions to maximize your good times in the coming weeks. Spread the word (FB pleez!), spread the love... TUESDAY 6/22 OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP DANCE RIDE! 7pm Tompkins Sq Park Dress funky fresh and ready to bust a move FRIDAY 6/25 DITMAS (HEART) RIDES 7pm Vox Pop (Cortelyou @ Stratford, BKLYN) Relaxed, family-friendly ride reclaiming the beautiful streets of BKLY...

There are many, many, many photos of Saturday's WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE NYC. Preparing for this event is the reason I have not updated this blog in weeks and weeks. What follows is a "brief" account of the WNBR from one participant's perspective. Would love to hear more, and will post them here as I am able: I had always heard about naked protests. But no one ever really followed up. One thing or another, but talk rarely followed with action. Sure there were exceptions – ACT UP’s Drop the Debt naked DC during the RNC in 2004 being the most recent example. But the body has always been a battleground. And those who revel in it represent a Bachnalian counter voice in struggle against the prohibitive logic of the Comstocks, Carry Nations, Guilianis, and so on. “Capitalism – it needs sadness,” lamented John Jordan in an interview with me a couple of years ago. It needs docile, obedient bodies. Yet, when these bodies reject orders and access their cap...

It has been a long month indeed, and here at the end, I am putting up the briefest of updates, as my attention has moved towards actively participating in WNBR NYC, which happens on June 12, an international movement of missions, methods, and structure as CM. Please consider joining me and other participants in creating the streets and the world we dream is possible. As far as the streets that we have right now, there are great things happening, but there is still plenty to be desired. Last month's fizzled "bomb" in Time's Square created the intended fear in the populace, resulting in many somethings seen and somethings said to the authorities. Many a refrigerator, oddly-painted concept car, and red-backpack-containing-slippers were found in various places of possible significance and safely inspected, smashed, or detonated by the NYPD. Now, I am of course tempted to brag about how many amazing rides put on by our diverse community succeeded in this month of bikes, as...

It is the end of bike month, and I am pretty sick of it. But not as sick as I am of hundreds of thousands of gallons of oil being pumped into the ocean everyday. Not to mention millions of tons of greenhouse gases emitted by automobiles. And of course I am very sick of the disrespect bikes (and pedestrians) get on the streets of NYC. But certainly I am not as sick of it as I am of cyclists, pedestrians and motorists being killed or maimed by cars everyday here. I am sick of the police wasting tax-dollars to harass Critical Mass riders, but not as sick as I am over the hypocrisy of Bloomburg's "green" NYC. The truth is, it has been a beautiful bike month. This spring has brought so many more bicyclists, both new and old, it is hard to not have hope. More group rides, more community, more courteous and safer riding. Every time a three or four or even a massive five find themselves waiting together at an intersection, I realize that I am seeing the future of traffic. It is ...

Gosh, I am the worst at keeping this up. Its like feeling nauseous but being unable to vomit. Only through the sheer discomfort of gagging my errant thoughts can I semi-coherently rant online about subjects such as group bike rides and police over-reaction to such events. Writing this also requires resisting sweet allure of constant riding due to Bike Month . Today, however, being rainy and cold, I spent a three hours watching " The Power of Nightmares ," a BBC documentary from a few years back about how the "Global War on Terror" is just a fantasy created by a handful of people. I highly recommend it, and if you're able to see it perhaps you will better understand why it is that NYPD continues to fantasize about Critical Mass being populated by "professional anarchists" who pose some vague threat to the city. Note the vile emphasis on that phrase as Pat Lynch of the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association reacts to the recent Pogan verdict. Try not to ...

We are the future! After tonight I have little doubt. Bicycles will one day soon flow through our streets as they once did in China, except even more free. Critical Mass will be a game made up of gangs who compete for fewest violations, largest size, and best route. GHOST RIDDAZZZ REPRESENT No lights can go off on their own. Wow the NYC game is a whole 'nother level! Pogan to be sentenced in June. Lets take the high road and work for a lean sentence, and a harder one on kelly/bloomburg. The PBA will make sure it happens, but let us take the credit! http://www.ny1.com/1-all-boroughs-news-content/top_stories/117933/trial-aside--critical-mass-rider-heads-back-out

Will you join the Ghost Rider tonight? Wear white on you bike and body APRIL 30th, 2010 7PM Union Square North

How many more cops will learn to lie? How many more tax dollars will we kiss goodbye? How many more cyclists and pedestrians need to die?

Mr. Conners (Prosecutor) Q: How many times have you viewed this video ? Mr. Pogan (Defendant) A: Too many times. Last Tuesday, April 20th, the NYPD deftly executed a humiliating blow to the good reputation of an anti-authoritarian, veteran, pot-smoking, deadly-driver but merely-reckless cyclist in the guise of a "criminal" trial against the doe-eyed Patrick Pogan. This case has had wide coverage in the media due to sensational aspects of the case and the above-mentioned, apparently not-so-damning video footage. What most reportage is missing is the clear case the defense has made that a larger conspiracy against the NYPD is being played out. The proof of anarchist-infiltrations of Critical Mass has at last been laid bare by the vocal maneuvering of slick, archetypical lawyer for former-officer Patrick Pogan, Mr. Stuart London. A quick aside: As a human being, I occasionally suffer bouts of empathy and compassion. Just as all who view the video of the inertial-halting-vector-...

I've been struggling lately to keep up with a weekly posting to this blog. I am still feeling this blog out, and just as my patience in waiting for the subway or politicians to change my life is short, so too is my attention span. And time keeps moving forward! Damn! The mass is about diversity, spontaneity, and creativity. There are so many individuals and groups making plans for exciting rides every day. We just need to have a central and objective place to connect these rides. The only thing that prevents the normalization of mass bicycle traffic is the that we do not do it enough. Twitter may be a good tool for this, but there are many others. A diversity of tactics to connect and maintain that which is most important: community.

I've been struggling lately to keep up with a weekly posting to this blog. I am still feeling this out, and just as my patience is short when waiting for the subway to move me around or for politicians to change my life, so too is my attention span. And time keeps moving forward! Damn! Almost everyday my irrational obsession with Critical Mass is challenged by my friends, by the authorities, by the haters, and by common sense. One blogger recently put the question "Has Critical Mass run its course?" to his readers. The responses provide many good answers to the question, and I would encourage you to check it out. Of course, pinning down a the purpose of an amorphous, non-hierarchical movement is tough to do. Every participant is in it for her or his own reasons. To me, at its most basic, CM is a celebration of non-polluting transport and community. At its best the Mass creates a space for diversity, spontaneity, creativity and fun that many folks rarely enjoy in this ...

A brief note on how I like to make my own contribution to the human language. In promoting some rides, I have started to refer to Friday as fRideay, which is basically pronounced the same but implies that it is a day to ride (massively if possible), in addition to being a day of the week. Just wanted to let you all know. Now that this has been posted on the internet I presume it is official. Now while last month's Critical Mass Walk seemed to bother some of the NYPD officers assigned to "safely escort" the "ride," this fRideay night, instead of encouraging cyclists to ride, they are actively discouraging it. In yet another attempt to ride smoothly through the new "pedestrian paradise" on Broadway, where the night is lit like day around Times Square, I was strongly encouraged (ordered?) to dismount my bicycle through the red painted pedestrian area. Now, I support pedestrian only areas. But can someone please explain to me how a cyclist may safely remai...

Wet and cloudy skies earlier in the day dried up just enough to allow a gorgeous sunset around 7pm last Friday. Though the damp day had been replaced by a cool evening, dozens of bicycle riders and other free-wheeling types gathered at Union Square North. Approximately 30 people with bikes socialized for approximately 45 minutes in the approximate center of the approximately public space. The "Guardians of Safety," a.k.a. the NYPD, smartly positioned themselves around the un-licensed street-users who were a mere 20 people short of being illegally lacking a parade permit. Their brassy finery sparkling in the urban dusk like so many stars in the pre-industrial twilight-skies, top cops huddled between SUVs and motor-scooters creating a formidable mass of metal and flesh on the northwest corner. To the southwest, a less-dazzlingly attired half-dozen scooter patrol-men lounged around. Though looking bored and perhaps a bit cold, these, the most-mobile of police man/vehicle hybrids...

Bike bells ring, will you slow down, I'll speed up, together we make the streets bloom Riding through the winter months, one can easily forget how densely populated New York City is. With the onset of summer-like conditions last week the streets of Brooklyn were suddenly and utterly filled with happy people on bicycles. Roving masses of 5 or 6 riders occurred intentionally and not. It is going to be a beautiful spring and summer. Ride safe!

Two riders chatting in the heavily-misted Grand Army Plaza failed to attract the attention of the two other bicyclists who happened to pass through around 7pm. Police tripled their vehicle presence from last month, with two unmarked cars and a van. The apparent lack of interest led one rider to depart. The other made a phone call, then proceeded to make his way out to the street. The driver of an undercover vehicle asked the rider if anyone else was going to show up. The rider answered in the negative, and then invited the officers to escort him down Flatbush Avenue. Though the banter between the lone wet cyclist and the three or four officers packed into the sedan was cordial, the NYPD declined the opportunity to fulfill its duty to police Critical Mass to the fullest extent of the law, and beyond. I'd really like to know if there is any standard police protocol for how many cyclists constitute a Critical Mass. As we saw last month, four cyclists constituted a "Critical Mass...

A recent memoir by a police officer in Minnesota who did undercover surveillance of civilians planning protests the 2008 RNC. His book is full of juicy facts, and this lovely excerpt on Critical Mass is a highlight: We met at Loring Park, straddling bikes scrounged from the police bicycle impound garage. Like the ugly, rheumy-eyed dog from the pound that nobody wanted, these were unclaimed bikes that would be auctioned off or given away. They were not in terrible shape, but neither were they modern, well cared for, or tuned up. A bike aficionado from our department lubed up the gears and checked the brakes. He probably saved our lives. After some encouraging words from Minneapolis Police Chief Tim Dolan, we sat off on the streets of downtown Minneapolis with the Minneapolis Bike Cops as escorts. The beautiful late-August day was warm and sunny. Five hundred riders filled both lanes of traffic for about five or six city blocks. The bike cops made sure that cars sharin...

Friday's "!st fR!deay" was immensely successful! Thank you to all who came out and made the streets a little more fun and kind. A few auto-automatons called riders harmless names, while a few used their motor-boxes to threaten fellow road users in a not-so-harmless way. Other than this, the reception on the streets from the car-free street-users was warm and friendly, especially thanks to the radio transmitter that kept the funky tunes flowing from several radios that riders strapped on to their bikes. "Tune your radio to 106.3!" became the ride's rallying cry. !st fR!deay did, however, experience a bit of token police harassment. While traveling with traffic eastward through the Chelsea district, riders were joined by a lone NYPD Interceptor vehicle. At ninth avenue, the group stopped at a red light. The physically-separated bicycle lane running down the avenue creates a marked bike-box beyond the pedestrian crosswalk. Most of the riders stopp...

The review of documentary photographs and video is conclusive. In a city that boasts at least 15,000 bicycle commuters , the freely (dis)organized event known as "Critical Mass" consisted of 3 cyclists this past Friday. Admittedly, the commuter statistic is derived from fair-weather riders between the months of April and October, but one would think that with this kind of population density, you could get at least 5 people to commute together on bicycles even in the dead of winter. They can do it in Anchorage Alaska . I don't know if the kids are turning this particular phrase anymore these days, but c'mon NYC, that is some weak sauce. This is lamer than an Obama presidency. In fact, "Critical Mass" proved last week that it is easier to get people engaged in inane task of throwing snowballs at a monument, than to ride a bike this time year. This photo does not show it, but several passers-by, including a little girl, joined in coating this rock-hard tower i...

Well massive it was not, with 3 riders. 47 short of needing a permit. Weather followed the same pattern as it has the last 8 months, a very menacing forecast followed by a downright pleasant evening, slushy streets excepted. Cool but clear, the snow let up but participants stayed away. Maybe the permit ruling scared them off. NYPD have totally taken over this community party, with a strong prescense including 2 unmarked sedans (1 officer each), 1 unmarked minivan (2 officers), 1 unmarked SUV (2+ officers), 6 patrol cars (1-2 officers each) and 1 interceptor (1, duh). I guess the scooter brigade was also intimidated by the weather. 4-6 uniformed and less-than-uniformed (not naked, but sporting a NYPD beanies or ski-masks) milled about. So that is 11 vehicles and minimun 17 officers mobilized. Riders and an accompanying documenting party took photos and video of the scene (coming soon!), and had some discussion with the cops. As usual a few classic verbal police maneuvers were put into f...