Critical Mass Panic

...to update this blog. I hope you voted using my fancy new widget at the top of the page. It is some hot fresh, free code courtesy Google and Princeton which will no doubt further aid in our quest to #OCCUPY our future. If you are curious about what the hell I have been up to I would reccommend getting out of the stone ages and getting on twitter, or at least google @critmasspanic to see what I have been up to. My youtube channel has gotten a few uploads and hella views as I #OccupySanJose... There is so much I want to tell you, dear internet: about my creative desperation while working with my father at the start of the year, or about how awesome bike month was in NYC, the WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE in NYC (wnbrnyc.tumblr.com), or about how that shit got postponed, then pwned by NYPD, but we fuckin outlasted them until they had to give us permission to run the red lights. Or about how nuclear radiation is killing us all more quickly now, despite Time's Up!'s massive banners. I...

It is my solemn duty and honor to inform you that this Friday is the last Friday of the month of March, which makes it Critical Mass around the world. 7pm Union Square North. "Why would I want to do a bike ride that is guaranteed to be harassed by the NYPD?" You might be thinking...well, the truth is that now is the time to revive NYC CM because cyclists are, after many years of battling for the right to ride safely, we are finally WINNING! Ray Kelly and the NYPD have taken their bicycle bias a bit too far, publicly demonstrating their utter incompetence. They are now on the defensive ... The Haters of safer streets like Prospect Park West have been called out by the cycling clowns at Time's Up, shaming them only slightly more than they had already publicly shamed themselves... And the heavy-weight, washed-up politicians are running scared from the image their inside dealings has wrought... Ride Solidarity! with the cyclists of Porto Alegre ... AND MOST IMPORTANTLY... ...

WNBR NYC 6/11/11 Celebrate the future together! FREE of Oil/Autos/clothes

Can we kick our helmet addiction? Only once we give up fear.

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! (RANT WARNING) Bicycles are taking over! They are getting in the way of cars! Cyclists are scaring pedestrians! It is a United Nations conspiracy! A blight on our beautiful and efficient roadways! They are killing themselves! A small sampling of fear-mongering and slander against Critical Mass can be found at these links. http://thevillager.com/villager_392/talkingpoint2.html http://www.thevillager.com/villager_387/anticritical.html http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_16390626?source=most_emailed&nclick_check=1 http://www.presstelegram.com/news/ci_16487931 It probably just an effect of the election season. The bike-hate has been flying in the media the last few months, both on the local and national levels. It seems pretty clear that the Tea Party and the GOP have sought to use bicycles as another spectre of terror that threatens us somehow, to divide the people from each other and distract us from what really matters. And what really matters? Well, havin...

There are many, many, many photos of Saturday's WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE NYC. Preparing for this event is the reason I have not updated this blog in weeks and weeks. What follows is a "brief" account of the WNBR from one participant's perspective. Would love to hear more, and will post them here as I am able: I had always heard about naked protests. But no one ever really followed up. One thing or another, but talk rarely followed with action. Sure there were exceptions – ACT UP’s Drop the Debt naked DC during the RNC in 2004 being the most recent example. But the body has always been a battleground. And those who revel in it represent a Bachnalian counter voice in struggle against the prohibitive logic of the Comstocks, Carry Nations, Guilianis, and so on. “Capitalism – it needs sadness,” lamented John Jordan in an interview with me a couple of years ago. It needs docile, obedient bodies. Yet, when these bodies reject orders and access their cap...

It is the end of bike month, and I am pretty sick of it. But not as sick as I am of hundreds of thousands of gallons of oil being pumped into the ocean everyday. Not to mention millions of tons of greenhouse gases emitted by automobiles. And of course I am very sick of the disrespect bikes (and pedestrians) get on the streets of NYC. But certainly I am not as sick of it as I am of cyclists, pedestrians and motorists being killed or maimed by cars everyday here. I am sick of the police wasting tax-dollars to harass Critical Mass riders, but not as sick as I am over the hypocrisy of Bloomburg's "green" NYC. The truth is, it has been a beautiful bike month. This spring has brought so many more bicyclists, both new and old, it is hard to not have hope. More group rides, more community, more courteous and safer riding. Every time a three or four or even a massive five find themselves waiting together at an intersection, I realize that I am seeing the future of traffic. It is ...

A brief note on how I like to make my own contribution to the human language. In promoting some rides, I have started to refer to Friday as fRideay, which is basically pronounced the same but implies that it is a day to ride (massively if possible), in addition to being a day of the week. Just wanted to let you all know. Now that this has been posted on the internet I presume it is official. Now while last month's Critical Mass Walk seemed to bother some of the NYPD officers assigned to "safely escort" the "ride," this fRideay night, instead of encouraging cyclists to ride, they are actively discouraging it. In yet another attempt to ride smoothly through the new "pedestrian paradise" on Broadway, where the night is lit like day around Times Square, I was strongly encouraged (ordered?) to dismount my bicycle through the red painted pedestrian area. Now, I support pedestrian only areas. But can someone please explain to me how a cyclist may safely remai...

If you are reading this blog, you probably have already been made aware of the recent judicial ruling regarding the parade regulation created by the NYPD in their attempts to control Critical Mass in New York City since 2004. The plaintiffs of the case also attempt to call foul on the police's alleged profiling and selective enforcement activities against suspected Critical Mass participants. Here is a round-up of some of the media coverage. Be sure to check out the numerous and contentious comments which accompany these: 5BBC , Streetsblog , Gothamist , NY Times , Bike Snob NYC , Bike Blog NYC Here's a taste of some of the testimony given by police officers at the Federal Courthouse last May, through the eyes of a court-room sketch-artist: "Chief Tuller believes that cyclists must ride about 3 feet from parked cars, but can't recall why he believes that!" "Deputy Inspector DeQuatro believes the NYPD is protecting the free speech of cyclists and keeping ped...

Four cyclists came out to Grand Army Plaza in Brooklyn on the second Friday of February. None of the several cyclists passing by could be recruited for the ride. The four riders were a pproached by the lone NYPD SUV on the scene, containing four officers, which had arrived shortly after 7pm. A cordial conversation ensued with Deputy Inspector John A. Argenziano of the 78th precinct who is typically assigned to be at that location at that time. One rider remarked upon the dramatically-reduced police presence. The inspector proceeded to gesture to his oak leaf pin and explain how his rank meant he could easily summon many more police forces if need be. The four riders agreed that to be a fact. He asked where the ride was going, and the consensus was that the ride would go around the main loop of Prospect Park. Apparently eager to safely escort the ride, the inspector asked if the ride would be proceeding at that moment. A negative reply was given, and the riders waited a few more minute...

two wheels cut paths slow submission to quiet cold bright joyful streets

Due to the overwhelming demand of my one know follower I feel compelled to post immediately. I am starting to obtain a sliver of understanding of "Web 2.0". Perhaps it is a virtual critical mass: once enough people demand action, it occurs! Clearly my personal threshold for this is quite low. Usually I don't call it massive until I have to count on more than one hand. This image is from a Brooklyn Critical Mass several months ago. A massive gathering of hearty cyclists, to be sure, but really drops in the bucket compared to the raw tonnage of NYPD vehicles, flesh-filled uniforms and greenhouse-gas emissions! Don't forget to pay your taxes in the coming months, lest we lose the ability to keep our courteous public servants available to keep us safe! I'll wax poetic on blizzard biking soon, cuz it is just the best. Hope you had some fun in the snow yesterday too. Ride Safe!

How quickly I abandon any rhyme or reason to the order of posting for the pure and simple purpose of getting the feeling of producing something. This picture shows Lt. Dan Albano of NYPD legal. Rumor has it that he's staked his reputation on stopping Critical Mass. He may or may not be responsible for determining how the police on the streets can exploit the ambiguity of laws to curb cyclists 1st amendment rights on certain Fridays. With him on the scooter is a mustachioed officer who can frequently be seen leading the "scooter brigade" on their VERY SAFE following and ticketing of Critical Mass participants. The motors in the scooters assure that they can attain SAFE speeds. Admittedly, in general this particular officer is pretty mellow and accomodating. I even once saw him attempt to influence a private auto vehicle to make way for vulnerable cyclists when the road conditions made it dangerous for them to proceed! Many more pics from this Mass last summer, but those wi...

This blog is an overdue attempt to humorously chronicle some of the inane attempts by the state to maintain the status quo of car culture. Specifically, by examining the (international) movement known as Critical Mass in New York City, I hope to entertain, inform, and encourage individuals to examine their own choices, attitudes and actions. Critical Mass is a flashpoint for the clash of cultures that occurs every day in the streets around the world, and as such is often misunderstood, both vilified and glorified. The bias of this blog will most often be towards the latter, but I welcome all viewpoints, as a diversity is strength and critique can be constructive. I hope you enjoy, and ride safe!