Critical Mass Panic

Well it has been forever, but I am finally bored enough...

2011-10-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

...to update this blog. I hope you voted using my fancy new widget at the top of the page. It is some hot fresh, free code courtesy Google and Princeton which will no doubt further aid in our quest to #OCCUPY our future. If you are curious about what the hell I have been up to I would reccommend getting out of the stone ages and getting on twitter, or at least google @critmasspanic to see what I have been up to. My youtube channel has gotten a few uploads and hella views as I #OccupySanJose...

There is so much I want to tell you, dear internet: about my creative desperation while working with my father at the start of the year, or about how awesome bike month was in NYC, the WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE in NYC (wnbrnyc.tumblr.com), or about how that shit got postponed, then pwned by NYPD, but we fuckin outlasted them until they had to give us permission to run the red lights. Or about how nuclear radiation is killing us all more quickly now, despite Time's Up!'s massive banners. I'd love to go on and on (with pics and video) about my amazing bike tour with @nyctimesup volunteers down to North Carolina which was pretty much the best way to spend August without a doubt. OR HOW OCCUPY WALL STREET and the subsequent globalrevolution (livestream.com/globalrevolution) has eroded my cynicism and given me hope in the future. I won't really get into how Bike Party has basically replaced CM in the Bay Area as the awesome place to smoke pot and ride with a thousands of other cyclists, but I can confirm that I LOVE DUBSTEP now because of it. I wish I could mourn the lives unneccesarily lost to automobiles in NYC. But all I can say is Fuck the NYPD. Don't let Ray Kelly become our next mayor or FBI director. See the widget above to learn how you can help without leaving your couch while the internet porn or the fucking episode of Gossip Girl buffers. Or get down to wall street. Anyhow. The future continues to become the present which continues to be incredibly fun and interesting if you just decide to stop being a tool and a fool sometimes, so I probably wont get into detail on any of the above until I retire at age 35. Buy my book!

Lastly, I should mention that the biggest fucking Critical Mass that NYC has seen in 7 years is happening this Friday 7pm Union Square north. Scary costumes, scary masses, scary cars, and of course, over-worked, scary police, followed by a crowded and scary after party at C-Squat by Times-Up! Be there with mask and lights, and know your rights we will occupy the streets like nobody can do business.

On a final note, if you are a billionaire, (corrupt) politician or (abusive) cop, be sure to gaze into your future and check out the sad fate of Muammar Gaddafi on the YouTube!

OMG i almost forgot I sold out and you can friend me on FACEBOOK now. Just decode this hippy song to find out my name!

Bike Massive WINNING!!!

2011-03-24T03:33:00.000-07:00

It is my solemn duty and honor to inform you that this Friday is the last Friday of the month of March, which makes it Critical Mass around the world. 7pm Union Square North.

"Why would I want to do a bike ride that is guaranteed to be harassed by the NYPD?" You might be thinking...well, the truth is that now is the time to revive NYC CM because cyclists are, after many years of battling for the right to ride safely, we are finally WINNING!

Ray Kelly and the NYPD have taken their bicycle bias a bit too far, publicly demonstrating their utter incompetence. They are now on the defensive...

The Haters of safer streets like Prospect Park West have been called out by the cycling clowns at Time's Up, shaming them only slightly more than they had already publicly shamed themselves...

And the heavy-weight, washed-up politicians are running scared from the image their inside dealings has wrought...

Ride Solidarity! with the cyclists of Porto Alegre...

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...
Spring is here and the world is most beautiful when we ride our bikes together with peace, love, and respect for all.

Reclaiming Critical Mass from the NYPD with lawful & respectful riding in huge numbers WILL break the bikelash!

I am just sorry I won't be there to see it. And it is supposed to be raining in San Francisco :(

BIKE LOVE,
Mellow P. Yellow
Cyclist

Please spread the word if you believe we can change the world together.

Egypt Massive: We are with you!

2011-02-04T01:07:00.000-08:00

You often hear disparaging remarks about Critical Mass, and indeed, NYC CM is pretty dead these days. Between the 5+ years of police repression of the ride on the last Friday of the month, the current NYPD "crackdown", and the icy, slushy, filthy, freezy streets, its no wonder you get more bodies showing up for a WNBR meeting than cyclists for a CM!

But Critical Mass is not dead! If you have been paying any attention this week, you have witnessed its power. Egyptians of all walks of life have gathered together for days and days in public space, self-organized as equals to get a message out and build empowered community. Admittedly, it is not "Down with Cars!", but rather "Down with Mubarak!" Able to hold the space through the sheer power of their numbers alone, participants of this critical mass have begun to pay dearly with life, limb and liberty. I hope you all will join me in standing, sitting, walking, talking, and riding in solidarity with the people of Egypt and all who desire autonomy from tyrants.

While I have fled the ice and snow for a warmer climate at the moment, I am happy to continue to serve the cycling community of New York City with my sporadic, ranting e-mails with suggestions for how you can have fun and maybe make a difference, ideally while riding a bicycle. Send me any events you know of that fit the bill and I will spread the word.

Cyclists with love beat camel-riding goons as a protest booster any time.

MY Last Critical Mass NYC?

2011-01-26T14:02:00.001-08:00

Friday, January 28th 7pm Union Square North

Bikes or not here we come. Cyclists, pedestrians and others demanding safer streets and freedom in public spaces will gather with love, creativity, resolve and solidarity. We will beat back the hate and ignorance behind the backlash, beat back the automobile and corporate interests, we will speak to the NYPD with our words and with our actions. We will show how safe we can ride, and how the streets will be in the future! We will reveal "Operation Safe Cycle" for what it is: a farce.

Don't let fear keep you from having community. Don't let fear silence the vote of your presence.

I challenge to NYPD to ride bikes. Why are they afraid? I challenge City Council Members, Neighbors for Better Bike Lanes, and Borough Presidents to show up to Union Square North this Friday at 7pm. I challenge those who fear, those who believe the lies, those who have slandered us, those who are tools of the corporate media to be there, to see the truth and feel what you have allowed the country to become.

I challenge cyclists of New York City to gather and be counted. Be present. Be united. Be peaceful, and loving, and full of respect for life. Meet this challenge and we can not lose.

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

2011-01-21T13:58:00.000-08:00

My previous, minimally-completed post reproduced an e-mail sent to a Brooklyn cyclist regarding the 78th Precinct's approach to "Operation Safe Cycle". I posted it here on this blog in the effort to comply with the request made by the Community Affairs Police Officer.

Last night at the Community Board 6 meeting on the Prospect Park West Bike Lane's incredible success at making a safer street, the Community Affairs Officers of the 78th Precinct, Mitch and Jerry, approached me. They expressed frustration that I had posted their phone number online as they were now experiencing a backlog of phone messages on their shared answering machine, regarding bicycle complaints. In fact, Jerry explicit threatened me. In hopes of ensuring justice is met in the case of my untimely death, the below e-mails, reproduced in full w/o the offending contact information, tell the story:

Wed, January 5, 2011 8:37:49 AM
Bicycle Safety Enforcement
From:
"KIRSHY, MITCHELL"
To: XXXX@XXXXX.com

[Name Withheld],

The New York City Police Department is putting an emphasis on enforcement against bicycle riders who violate the New York State Vehicle Traffic Law (ie. redlight, riding outside the bike lane, etc.). It is anticipated that this will result in enforcement activity being taken against those who operate their bicycles in an illegal manner. If you could please pass the word along to your friends and co bike riders.

P.O. Mitchell Kirshy
Community Affairs
78 Precicnt
65 6th Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11217
Office: 718-xxx-xxxx
Fax : 718-xxx-xxxx

Thu, January 6, 2011 7:48:11 AM
Re: Bicycle Safety Enforcement
From:
XXX XXXXX
To: "KIRSHY, MITCHELL"
Hey Mitch,

Thanks for the information. I hope the new year finds you very well.

Bicyclists are allowed to exit the bike lanes at their discretion for safety, as they are legally allowed to ride on streets without bike lanes and occupy the vehicle lane as needed for safety. Or at least that is my understanding...I will look the state laws up again. Obviously all street users, cyclists, motorists, and especially NYPD officers who work hard to keep us all safe need to have a consistent understanding of the laws applying to bicycles, and the rights of cyclists. I'd really appreciate the opportunity to continue this dialogue with you, as would many others in the cycling community.

I'll be in touch.

Take Care,
Xxx

Fri, January 21, 2011 4:34:01 AM
Re: Bicycle Safety Enforcement
From:
XXX XXXXX
To: "KIRSHY, MITCHELL"
Cc: John Argenziano ; Charlie Glover
Dear Mitch,

While I appreciated our friendly and humorous banter during the DOT presentation on the Prospect Park West Bike lane, I did not appreciate your fellow Community Affairs Officer Jerry's gesture after the meeting, suggesting that he would slit my throat.

Please don't threaten me because I did what you asked, spreading the information below that you provided, which happened to be incorrect. If the community affairs telephone number is being overwhelmed by bicycle questions on perhaps you could set up an alternate line for such complaints. I will gladly pass that number on to the cycling community. Again, with all due respect, I would suggest that you form a Committee for Bicycle Safety to address these issues, and that if you are serious about serving the cycling community, officers of the 78th precinct should ride bicycles during the monthly critical mass ride.

I will be filing a complaint against Jerry.

Sincerely,
XXX XXXXXXX
Brooklyn Cyclist

A note to Mitch and Jerry, I apologize for any inconvenience disclosing your names may create, but I would ask that you take responsibility for your actions and words, or kindly direct me to the person who can. Perhaps the Deputy Inspector?

A word about the crackdown.

It is obviously just a fantasy, as the NYPD is not a grassroots organization...if the top doesn't decree it then it is not really so. And that is what the silence from 1 Police Plaza seems to be saying. This precinct to precinct, discretionary/inconsistent approach to traffic enforcement is a bit hard to take seriously at this point. Does anyone really expect the NYPD to enforce traffic laws for bikes any better than they do for cars?

If we can't get the NYPD to ride bikes, can we at least get them to answer their phones? Or perhaps just upgrade their answering machines? Lets spend the money planned on being wasted by continuing the debate over Prospect Park West.

Oh and watch out, Stiesel is planning to drag NYC into a mess .

Straight from the horse's mouth

2011-01-06T04:44:00.000-08:00

This was an e-mail passed to me by a friend. FYI. Be sure to educate your safe-riding selves.

The New York City Police Department is putting an emphasis on enforcement against bicycle riders who violate the New York State Vehicle Traffic Law (ie. redlight, riding outside the bike lane, etc.). It is anticipated that this will result in enforcement activity being taken against those who operate their bicycles in an illegal manner. If you could please pass the word along to your friends and co bike riders.

P.O. Mitchell Kirshy
Community Affairs
78 Precicnt
65 6th Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11217
Office: 718-636-6410
Fax : 718-636-6403

AND WHY IS HALLOWEEN ONLY ONCE A YEAR DARN IT?

The confounding ironies of scapegoating

2011-01-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

Do I really need to point out the irony of Shitty Council Member David Greenfield's comments at the joke of the hearing on bikes last month?

He almost makes sense at some point in this video when he says he "wants the world to see what is happening...[all of his] constituents are running out of oil!" Try to tune out the rest or you might start to get confused.

Snowmageddon 2010

2010-12-29T18:37:00.000-08:00

Gotta give Bicycles Only a big shout out for his excellent video response to the bike-haters "snow" arguments.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bicyclesonly/5300972050/

Take back the media! We will do the reporting of the truth that needs to happen even if the corporate media continues to pander to automotive advertising dollars!

NYPD will facilitate your death and make sure it goes unpunished

2010-12-08T17:55:00.001-08:00

Now it is personal.

In October, I posted about some of the efforts made by the James Caldwell, the 77th NYPD Precinct and the cycling community here in Brooklyn in the wake of Jasmine Herron's death.

I have not put too much info out here as these various efforts take shape, as it is not really within the scope or tone of this joke of a blog. However, at the moment circumstances have occurred which illustrate the nature of the battle pedestrians and cyclists are fighting here on the streets of New York City. So I am touching on this politically sensitive matter.

Last night, a close personal friend of mine was hit by a reckless, speeding cab while on his bicycle. His account, with [my edits and clarifications] in brackets...

So...
Due to circumstances, I rode out in the middle of the night, ... left around 1 AM, making my way [on] Bedford heading south. I heard/saw a car heading east on St. Marks Ave, so I stopped in the [crosswalk] and waited. A taxi rounded the corner really sharp, entering the lane where cars would normally be stopped [DOT "stop bar"] if it wasn't a frozen ghost town. In the few seconds I had left, I started to move out of the way, but he kept coming, despite my reflective bands and lights. I ended up being hit at an angle, and luckily he stopped before running me over. I was in shock for a second, before anger set in and I started demanding the driver's number and info. He just stared at me from behind his closed window... so bizarre. No emotion in his face, just staring. The passengers in the back seat rolled their window down and asked if i was injured, which I just started to be aware of. I had a slight pain in my left leg just below the knee, nothing serious. I kept demanding info from the driver, who was yet to offer any words or a response. I began to photograph him and the cab, and finally he started saying he did not hit me, and that nothing happened. His weak Jedi skillz were no match for mine, for I knew that indeed I had been hit, my leg was hurt, and my front wheel no longer spun properly. As soon as I put the phone to my head to call 911, he drove off.

It wasn't long before a firetruck, an ambulance, and a cop car arrived on the scene. About 5 firemen hopped out of the long truck, asking me if I was ok, etc. One of them started commenting on my black clothes, almost immediately placing the blame on me, telling me that a little light on my bag (a five LED flashing red light), and a single bright pulsing white LED in front was no good. They drove off, leaving me with the cop and the EMT's. I gave the cops my ID and explained to them what happened, then entered the warm ambulance for further analysis. Nothing much could be done, as it was a mild contusion that only rest and time can heal. After about 15 minutes the cop knocked on the door and explained to me how the case was basically open and shut, and that the cabbies rent the vehicles so there is not a sure way of tracking who was driving, which I translated as mostly unbelievable. He then started glut me on bicycle safety, how cyclists don't respect vehicles, and the other way around, but mostly the former. One thing that really shocked me was his mentioning Jasmine's death. He said that it was her fault, and when I defensively stated that she had been doored, he said that if she had a light on her bike she may have made it. Who knows if she was lit up or not, or if that mattered at all in her case; it was just super sad to see that a member of the precinct we are/were building bicycle safety upon had such a one sided view. After some adjustments I rode on, wobbly-wheeled into South Brooklyn. I'm sure there's more to come on this one, personally and throughout the borough.

Just another story in the never-ending battle of bicycles and gas guzzlers. Ride safe and ride on.

How can we get the police to drop the "blame-the-victim" mentality? We have had several people killed by cars already this week. NO CRIMINALITY. And the victim gets the blame.

My friend attached this picture of Jasmine Herron. May she rest in peace. May she never be forgotten. And may her death not be used as another opportunity for politicians to pay lip-service to cyclists safety while we die due to the negligent brutality of the state.

You better believe I will be raising hell at tomorrow's city council meeting on bicycle "opportunities and challenges," Brooklyn Critical Mass (will the 78th find criminality in automotive murder?), Monday night's 77th Precinct Meeting, and Wednesday's 77th Committee on Bicycle Safety Meeting.

A big Fuck You to Ray Kelly and Michael Bloomberg, and the scum in Albany that killed congestion pricing, and Dubya, for politicizing Critial Mass in '04, etc etc so on and so forth until they peel me off the pavement.

PLEASE RIDE SAFE. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH.
xoxo
Mellow Yellow

PS I am soliciting ideas for NYPD bicycle awareness/sensitivity training that the CBS 77th is putting together. Please let me know: WHAT 3 THINGS WOULD YOU TELL A NYPD COP SHE/HE MUST KNOW TO RESPECT AND PROTECT CYCLISTS?

BND CM Full 3 parts

2010-12-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

Critical Mass is Dead! Long Live Critical Mass!

R U down? Do U dare?

2010-12-02T18:54:00.000-08:00

WNBR NYC
6/11/11

Celebrate the future together! FREE of Oil/Autos/clothes

BND CM Extended Teaser/Trailer

2010-12-02T14:46:00.000-08:00

I hope the machines don't bust me for stealing their music. But not as much as I hope I have got you hooked. The coming footage will be only very lightly edited, so bear with it, keep an open mind, and try to believe your eyes.

Visions of the Future Thanks to Bike Sharing

2010-12-01T12:56:00.000-08:00

Manhattan South - May 25th, 2014 - 18 Rogue Cyclists Rounded Up by NYPD at Anarchist GroupRide!

NYPD, through amazing feats of derring-do, collared 18 dangerous, rogue cyclists last Friday night at the Astor Place Cube Bloomburg Pop-Up Club. The un-licensed, un-insured riders were using un-registered bicyles for blocking legal traffic outside of designated bike zones. The group stunned the clubgoers, but fortunately for those held hostage by the noisy miscreants, a pair Mike's Bikers in a nearby bike zone heard the commotion and contacted the NYPD's Bicycle Control Unit. Helicopters and quarantine nets were deployed to contain the cyclists circumventing the City Bike Fees. A police spokesperson stated 4 rouge riders critically injured themselves attempting to evade the law enforcement pursuing in the new electric-powered "Mega-Interceptors." No confirmation yet as to how many members of the now-banned "TA" BikeGroup were apprehended in response to the noise complaint.

MY thanks to BrooklynSpoke for the inspiration here.

A more coherent approach to fear and safety

2010-11-30T16:02:00.000-08:00

Can we kick our helmet addiction? Only once we give up fear.

Me learn youtube, & blog good

2010-11-29T11:48:00.000-08:00

Now I know I promised a deluge of video this week, but first, in an effort to organize my life and out myself as an incompetent human being, I am going through and putting up many half-assed, un-edited, ranting blog posts. Not unlike this one. Anyhow, if anyone cares, you might find some nuggets of wisdom, just as infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters could create the entirety of our corporate/legal/bureaucracy which we now live in. But really the only thing that this proves is that I love the sound of my fingers typing a tirade as much as I love the sound of my voice (proven by the forthcoming video).

Speaking of said video, if you watched the teasers, you are probably asking yourself "how did I get tricked into wasting another 30 seconds of my life in front of a screen?" Well I assure you it is time well spent. Too often we've seen NYC Critical Mass either edited into music videos or cop-watch footage. Mainstream media typically only shows at the start and asks some lame questions. What makes this video different? We will see an experience, from start to finish, largely un-edited and un-censored, of how simple choices, words and actions can unravel the largest municipal para-military organization in the world. There will be no bike riding. May be cop-watchy, but please stay tuned.

Bridge Access

2010-11-27T21:01:00.000-08:00

THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN POSTED A WHILE AGO

Now I am sure NOBODY really wants to be able to travel for whatever reason from Brooklyn to Staten Island via bicycle, but maybe in the future someone will.

With this possibility in mind a group of rogue riders took to the streets of Bay Ridge the night before the NYC marathon to test the waters. Or rather, the gargantuan bridge above them. The city closes the Verrazzano Narrows Bridge to motor vehicle traffic the night before at the behest of the bank which sponsors the marathon. A small contingent of rad cyclists decided to take advantage of the situation and go where we usually are PROHIBITED. Maybe Transportation Alternatives can get a permit for next year.

This year we got as far as the first pylon on the Brooklyn side with no trouble. It was a nice view.

The rogue contingent afterwords drank copious amounts at local bars and took in some pizza on the way back north.

The machine

2010-11-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

I am waiting for someone
to come along
and tell me that,
"No, we are not yet slaves to machines"
but
I want them to bring proof
as all I see seems to indicate otherwise.

Scooter Polluters and other jokes

2010-11-27T18:25:00.000-08:00

Buy Nothing Day!

2010-11-26T10:37:00.000-08:00

Just cause it is Buy Nothing Day doesn't mean you shouldn't consume....here are some videos for your brain to digest...

u snooz, u lose the newz

2010-11-22T14:01:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful to the fact that major media outlets are covering some of the issues in a reasonable, balanced manner. I commend the Wall Street Journal at reading the pulse of capitalism and realizing that if the elite do not do something to mitigate all the problems of auto and oil addiction, the profits to be squeezed from the masses will run dry.

Meanwhile the New York Times ran a piece more favorable of the vocal minority, believing that if you tell a story and make stuff up no matter how little sense it makes, it can come true! They initially headed it with a photo of the 1st Ave bike lane "protest", of which this man was one of three protestors.

Big Props to Team Spider for this awesome footage.

Blaming the human victim of the machines

2010-11-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

Biking Rules has failed. Accepting the blame for the danger in the streets to our own lives has given the supporters of the auto/oil status-quo the fuel they need to deny cyclists safe infrastructure. Accepting token "shared use" pathways as bike commuting options has let politicians wash themselves "green" while putting anyone who doesn't use a car in danger.

Police and politicians stand in the way at every turn.

"No criminality" is the mantra of the NYPD with regard to reckless drivers.

What can we do? Who brought us here?

Critical Mass Panic Goes National! Politics Police, & Propoganda

2010-10-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! (RANT WARNING)

Bicycles are taking over! They are getting in the way of cars! Cyclists are scaring pedestrians! It is a United Nations conspiracy! A blight on our beautiful and efficient roadways! They are killing themselves!

A small sampling of fear-mongering and slander against Critical Mass can be found at these links.

http://thevillager.com/villager_392/talkingpoint2.html
http://www.thevillager.com/villager_387/anticritical.html
http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_16390626?source=most_emailed&nclick_check=1
http://www.presstelegram.com/news/ci_16487931

It probably just an effect of the election season. The bike-hate has been flying in the media the last few months, both on the local and national levels. It seems pretty clear that the Tea Party and the GOP have sought to use bicycles as another spectre of terror that threatens us somehow, to divide the people from each other and distract us from what really matters.

And what really matters?

Well, having a right to safely ride our bikes in the streets, first of all. Secondly, what matters is that we have fun as a community, to celebrate a vision of the world where everyone is more free. And why not act locally?

If you read my last post, you know I have gotten somewhat involved in some shady dealings with politicians and police officers here in Brooklyn, in hopes of somehow achieving safer streets and fewer deaths. Now, I am tempted to scoff audibly at the notion of dealing with agents of a system I have little faith or trust in, but hey, you gotta sell out sometime. Who has the money?

The din of propaganda has become as natural the sound of automobiles in the streets. Likewise, the shock of being threatened daily on the streets and tragedy of cyclist and pedestrian lives lost to automobiles on a weekly basis has dulled into the natural rhythm of the city. Our safety and our lives are compromised, through carelessness, or increasingly, malice. The media will not blame cars or police. It will blame the victims.

But we are not victims yet, and we will assert our rights to stay that way.

CYCLISTS' BILL OF RIGHTS

WHEREAS, cyclists have the right to ride the streets of our communities and this right is formally articulated in the California Vehicle Code; and

WHEREAS, cyclists are considered to be the “indicator species” of a healthy community; and

WHEREAS, cyclists are both environmental and traffic congestion solutions; and

WHEREAS, cyclists are, first and foremost, people - with all of the rights and privileges that come from being members of this great society; and

NOW, THEREFORE, WE THE CYCLING COMMUNITY, do hereby claim the following rights:

1) Cyclists have the right to travel safely and free of fear.

2) Cyclists have the right to equal access to our public streets and to sufficient and significant road space.

3) Cyclists have the right to the full support of educated law enforcement.

4) Cyclists have the right to the full support of our judicial system and the right to expect that those who endanger, injure or kill cyclists be dealt with to the full extent of the law.

5) Cyclists have the right to routine accommodations in all roadway projects and improvements.

6) Cyclists have the right to urban and roadway planning, development and design that enable and support safe cycling.

7) Cyclists have the right to traffic signals, signage and maintenance standards that enable and support safe cycling.

8) Cyclists have the right to be actively engaged as a constituent group in the organization and administration of our communities.

9) Cyclists have the right to full access for themselves and their bicycles on all mass transit with no limitations.

10) Cyclists have the right to end-of-trip amenities that include safe and secure opportunities to park their bicycles.

11) Cyclists have the right to be secure in their persons and property, and be free from unreasonable search and seizure, as guaranteed by the 4th Amendment.

12) Cyclists have the right to peaceably assemble in the public space, as guaranteed by the 1st Amendment.

And further, we claim and assert these rights by taking to the streets and riding our bicycles, all in an expression of our inalienable right to ride!

First Friday, Nov. A lovely night as always, marred by a sole road-raging passenger whose passage into the gridlocked Time's Square was briefly delayed by the dirty dozen. A stop was made by Think! Coffee to honor Jasmine Herron.

Another hero of mine

And another:

A modest proposal.. Back to the Future: Cops on Bikes now!

NYPD traffic fail

BiKLYN RiSiNG!

2010-10-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

Please Forward!

Dear New York City Bicycling Community

There is a growing movement for safer streets taking shape in Brooklyn, involving new legislation, motorist education and a call for cycling community input by NYPD. The death of cylcist Jasmine Herron on September 11th profoundly affected those involved on the scene that night, including 77th NYPD precinct Community Council President James Caldwell. Caldwell has mobilized elected officials from Brooklyn, including Council Member Letitia James, State Senator Eric Adams, and Assemblyman Hakeem Jeffries, with the 77th Precinct to the cause for safer streets for cyclists and pedestrians. This started several weeks ago with a prayer vigil for Jasmine, and has continued through community meetings. These politicians have all spoken eloquently, recognizing that bicycles are a viable and growing form of transportation in NYC, and that the culture of our streets desperately needs an overhaul, starting with motorists.

I would personally add that the apparent indifference, perhaps even hostility, of the NYPD towards cyclists' rights and traffic laws safeguarding bicycle infrastructure is the major obstacle in realizing safer streets for all of NYC. We as a community can not pass up this opportunity. Here is how this movement has been shaping up in recent weeks and, will in the weeks to come:

- Senator Adams is introducing legislation for more motorist education, to increase awareness of cyclists and other street users into the NY State Driver's Education program. The full text is available here: http://open.nysenate.gov/legislation/api/1.0/html/bill/S8487. The Senator has indicated that the community will have an opportunity to give input on what this actual education component is.

- Senator Adams and other elected officials have called on the community to organize a memorial bike ride for Jasmine which will bring attention to the legislation and the need for more respectful streets. There have been several meetings regarding this ride. On Saturday, 10/30, cyclists will gather at 11:30am at Washington and Atlantic. The ride departs at noon, lasting for ~1 hour, ending at Grand Army Plaza. Cyclist community groups including Time's Up, the Street Memorial Project, and the Transportation Alternatives Brooklyn Committee have come together to promote and support this ride. We need to broaden this coalition even further, so please spread the word. A meeting/conference call to discuss the ride is planned for this Friday at 1pm.

Please contact Senator Adams, senatorericadams@aol.com, or his Special Assistant Shanna Trotman, shannatrotman@yahoo.com, to make known your support and suggestions regarding this bill and/or the ride.

- Council Member Letitia James has accepted input from the community in composing a letter from the Brooklyn delegation to NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly, regarding the ongoing harassment of Critical Mass participants. This letter should be completed and sent in the near future. Cyclists appealing to the 78th precinct at it's last community council meeting appear to have succeeded in reducing the NYPD presence at last week's Brooklyn's Critical Mass, with no incidents.

- The 77th NYPD precinct under the leadership of Captain Elvio Cappoci has requested community input to form a Committee for Bicycle Safety, which will create an innovative pilot program at the precinct. This program could become the model approach to protect cyclists' rights and infrastructure for the entire NYPD. There will be a meeting of cyclists and community affairs officers on Friday, 10/15 at 10am at 127 Utica Ave, Brooklyn, to start this effort. Contact community affairs at (718) 735-0634.

What are the rights of cyclists we want legislators, law-enforcement, and motorists to understand and respect (perhaps something like this http://bikewriterscollective.com/index.html)? How can we make the Jasmine Herron Memorial Ride great for participants and all who see it? How can we reach out to other road-users to generate more respect for each other's humanity? How do we want future drivers to be educated regarding cyclists? How should the 77th Precinct best utilize its fleet of 12 bicycles? Who else can we get involved? We need to publicize the ride, the legislation, and the opportunity we have to build a solution with law-enforcement.

Please spread the word about upcoming events on blogs, listserves, facebook, etc., and participate as you can, even if only appealing to your own representatives or Police Precinct. Our lives may depend on it!

Contact me for more info or to discuss how you can help.

Ride Safe!

Mellow Yellow

1:1.38

2010-09-29T01:54:00.000-07:00

Be sure to count the undercover police on bikes as cops, not cyclists for an accurate estimate of how much taxpayer money is spent to bolster NYC's CM turnout with professional agitators.

STILL WE RIDE! HAPPY 18th YEAR, CM!

MCM September 2010

2010-09-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

It was the 18th birthday of Critical Mass last Friday, old enough to vote. The ride started in San Francisco in 1992. It has been going on in NYC for nearly as long, despite the baffling and hostile approach of the NYPD towards the ride in recent years.

Around 7pm 40 cyclists gathered at the new and improved Union Square as the light faded from the sky. A good crowd, many new faces. Some visitors were from LA, where they have a thriving mass ride scene, and a handful of friends of the late Andrew Wolf, a Brooklyn cyclist who was run down in broad daylight by an 18-wheeler in Canada last week. After much socializing, light distribution and information sharing regarding NYPD harassment of cyclists, the participants gathered round to hear a few of Andrew's friends speak about who he was, and what we have lost in his death. It was moving...emotionally. The mass itself stayed put.

Meanwhile, dozens of NYPD officers including Transportation Chief James Tuller lurked nearby, occupying newly installed pedestrian and bicycle areas reclaimed from automobiles on 17th Street by the DOT. Plenty of scooters, a few interceptors, a shiny new SUV created a safely mechanized environment for the biological agents of the Bloomburg hypocrisy machine. At least one or two undercover officers on bikes kept mostly to themselves, frequently checking their iPhones and wondering why the hell the ride had not left yet.

After much debate by the professional anarchists in the group, everyone agreed to disagree and the mass was off, after the traditional symphony of bike bells. Moderate voices of the radical cadre appeared to win out, so instead of making the provocative opening move of "walking it out", the mass rode one block up Park avenue, turning onto 18th street then turning again down 3rd Avenue. Obeying all lights and keeping themselves confined to the right lane, cyclists broke up into several groups down the avenue and did little to affect the slow pace of Manhattan traffic. The motor-loving police created a bit of an impediment to the other motorists, hoping to taste the freedom of cars, guaranteed by so many advertisements they had seen on TV.

The cyclists enjoyed lungful after lungful of tax-payer provided carbon emissions from the tight escort of scooters. Unfortunately for the future oncologists of NYC, the bulk of NYPD scooters were confined to the rear of the pack, as civilian auto traffic prevented them from getting into the mix of the ride.

At one point on Bowery near Houston, an FDNY emergency vehicle's wailing sirens failed to clear cars from the road, where the mass took it upon itself to move to the sidewalk. There cyclists waited for a few more minutes, while the NYPD scooter officers slowly realized that they too should move out of the road. A few motorists followed suit, and the ambulance eventually got through, where it turned the corner only to be blocked by more cars.

The ride proceeded south, turning east on DeLancey, feigning a dash for Brooklyn, but then made a right heading further south. Veering towards Chinatown as auto traffic became more dense. The snarl of cars meant the mass was about the only moving thing on the road, and riders decided to head up the riders felt a sense of joy that they had enjoyed the right to the street for so long. A false sense of respect and security properly instilled in the cyclists, NYPD jumped on the opportunity to train the rookies on the ride in how to make up laws and write tickets after the group opted to utilize streets with bike lanes, such as 5th avenue and 9th street.

Many cyclists on a day-to-day basis often exit bike lanes to pass obstructions such as double-parked cars, delivery trucks, pedestrians, vendors, joggers, construction, other cyclists, and of course, NYPD vehicles. The reason everyday cyclists do not receive tickets for this, aside from the fact that there is no law requiring one to stay in the bike lane, is that it apparently requires a half-dozen NYPD officers to issue such a summons. NYPD vehicles parked on 9th street blocking half the street, while the mass stopped in solidarity on the other side, well within the 3' lane designated for cyclists. This proved a dangerous spot nonetheless as car traffic had to merge into the bike lane to get around the pile of scooters.

In his comically-over sized uniform, the fresh-faced, lanky Officer Anthony half-heartedly explained to the cyclist (selected by his superior officers) that he had observed them riding out of the lane for the past 3 blocks. A handful of other cyclists stood by to help clarify the laws that are written, but to little avail, as most of the officers present appeared to be deaf and anti-social, refusing to make eye contact. After a debate lasting about 15 minutes the ticket was issued, and most of the mass rode off to attempt to salvage the evening at the waterfront.

Most of the NYPD officers involved in the ticketing stuck around for 45 minutes or so to monitor 5 cyclists who decided to hang out on 9th street. The mood lightened a bit when poor Officer Anthony attempted to start his scooter, only to hear it whining in ignition instead of promptly purring into oil-gobbling movement. He and a few other cops couldn't help but crack a smile as cyclists pointed out the nonsensical nature of their work. The scooter eventually came to life, and Officer Anthony was able to join his comrades when they regrouped at Union Square, where they were debriefed and hazed into stoic conformity in for next month.

For a limited time only...

2010-09-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

Dear bicyclists and bike-curious,

It has been too long since I rode with ya, but I am back at it. I missed you massively. I am showing you love with a big ride weekend for y'all to roll out against the mechanized madness which is car culture!

Read on for more info on each happening...

Friday 9/24
Manhattan Critical Mass - 7pm Union Square North, Manhattan
Memorial Ride for Brooklyn cyclist Andrew Wolf; New and improved Union Square!

Ditmas Love Rides - 7pm Quathra on Cortelyou @ Stratford, Brooklyn
New start location for the weekly family-friendly Mass ride!

Blondie of Arabia - 8pm Living Theatre 21 Clinton St, Manhattan
One-woman play about an epic bike ride through the Middle East! Amazing! $15, cheap!

Saturday 9/25
Clinic Defense Ride - 7am Williamsburg Bridge, Brooklyn entrance
Ride up to the Bronx to bring support for clinic targeted by anti-choice protesters

Memorial Vigil/Bike Ride for Jasmine Herron - 8pm Atlantic Ave @ Washington Bridge, Brooklyn
23-year-old cyclist's life cut tragically short by autos two weeks ago. Ride solidarity!

Monday 9/27
Time's Up Fall Event Planning Meeting - 7pm ABC No Rio, 156 Rivington St, Manhattan
Come participate in the creation of the October/November calendar with NYC's eco-defenders.

Tuesday 9/28
Truth to Power Ride: Appeal to the 78th Precinct - 7pm Manhattan Bridge, Brooklyn entrance
NEW MONTHLY RIDE to 78th Police Precinct Community Council Meeting to demand that NYPD serve, protect, and respect cyclists

And Next Weekend...
Friday 10/01
!st Fr!deay Ride! - 7pm Union Square North, Manhattan
Join the monthly celebration of community and non-polluting transportation on its 1-year anniversary! Unbelievable!

Central Park Moonlight Ride - 10pm Columbus Circle, Manhattan
The immensely popular, fun, and leisurely tour of Central Park with Time's Up!

Wow, we are going to be getting busy on the bikes. Face it people, summer is over and it is time to get to work. Hope to see you out there to celebrate OUR future safer, saner streets!

Ride safe! Safer than required by "law"!
Mellow Yellow

P.S. As always, spread the word on the Facebook, the Twitter, the Blog, the old e-mail, the ancient telephone or just invite your friends out for a ride!

MORE INFO BELOW!!! BUT FIRST...

NYC CRITICAL MASS/MEMORIAL RIDE
On September 16, sustainability activist and avid biker Andrew Wolf was
killed when he was hit by a truck during a bike tour in Canada with the
Otesha Project. Across Canada and in DC (where Andrew went to college and
where I was lucky enough to meet him), Critical Mass is being ridden in
memory of Andrew this Friday.
Andrew lived in Brooklyn last year, and those of us who were close with him
will be riding Friday's NYC Critical Mass for him. Is there any way to
publicize the solidarity ride with the Otesha Project so that others who
were touched by this amazing person could also ride with us?
More information about the Otesha Project can be found
here<http://www.otesha.ca/>
Check out the new pedestrian and bicycle improvements to Union Square, then head to the Manhattan Bridge to ride to Brooklyn at 7:30!

DITMAS LOVE RIDE

We be meeting at a new Location!

The next Ditmas Ride will be this Friday (9/24) at 7:00 pm. We will meet in front of the Qathra @ on Cortelyou between Stratford and Westminster. It will be fun to see you so please come it will make a difference.

Please forward this email to other bicyclists who might be interested in cycling together. If you or your friends like to be kept in the loop then you can add yourself to this email list here (http://ethreemail.com/e3ds/s.php?g=33146ac8).

The purpose of the Ditmas Rides is for us to have fun and to celebrate and spread a way of getting around we already enjoy. There is no planned route and we the participants will decide where we would like to go shortly before the ride starts. Ditmas Park has a lot of small streets so hopefully we can have a joyful and stress free rides. I myself are planning to bring my daughter Nona Lily along and hope that other parents will bring their children as well.

BLONDIE OF ARABIA
Written and Performed by Monica Hunken/ Directed by Laura Newman
September Wed 22^nd/ Thurs 23^rd / Fri 24^th / Thurs 30 @ 8pm; October Fri 1st @ 8pm / Sat Oct 2nd @ 8pm / Thurs 7^th, Fri 8^th, Sat 9^th @ 2pm & 8pm

The true story of an American Woman’s bicycle journey through the heart of the Middle East. Alone.

Two weeks before Christmas, Monica Hunken flew into the heart of the Persian Gulf to cater at a royal wedding party and ended up biking across the Middle East. This play chronicles the true story of her desert odyssey. Watch the broke, blonde American swerve her bicycle through close encounters with military capture, sex tourism, Gulf royalty and near death. As Hunken perseveres in her adventure as a parade of one, defeating trouble at every turn, indulging her super-hero fetishism, she plays over 20 characters in this 80 minute comedy that brought audiences to their feet every show.

Monica: www.monicahunken.com
Laura: www.irREVERENTfilms.com
Opening Weekend Discount Only:
Bicyclists who wear helmets to box office get $5 off!
Tickets: $15/$20
$10 for military/senior/student
Advance Tickets Available at Brown Paper Tickets:
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/123808

CLINIC DEFENSE RIDE
We need non-legal observers present to stand in the solidarity with the women who use Dr. Emily's services. If you are free next Saturday morning, please go to the clinic in the Bronx!

Meet at 7am on the Brooklyn side of the Williamsburg Bridge to gather, then ride up to the Bronx and observe from 8/9-ish AM to 12 PM at Dr. Emily's Clinic. The clinic is at 560 Southern Boulevard, Bronx.
Dr. Emily's Clinic provides abortion services, and, as a result, has been targeted by vocal anti-choice people for at least a year now. Support of the clinic and provide a safe space for women who come to the clinic for medical services.
Next week is the start of "40 Days for Life," a protest by the anti-choicers that will be staged at Dr. Emily's clinic for 40 days. The clinic is expecting busloads of anti-choicers to arrive. Your presence as a observer is desperately needed, support the clinic and the women who use the clinic by holding signs in solidarity.

VIGIL/RIDE FOR JASMINE HERRON
On September 11th, 23-year-old Jasmine Herron was doored and then struck and killed by a bus on Atlantic Avenue between Washington and Clinton. Jasmine's family is asking that cyclist gather to ride in her memory. Show support and solidarity by attending a vigil and ride. We need to mourn our loss and celebrate those safer streets that can't come soon enough. 9/25 8pm Atlantic @ Washington.

FIRST FRIDAY
The new monthly Critical Mass-style ride celebrates its first birthday of creating our future safe streets and enjoying non-polluting community. Sound system will bring the party to the participants wherever they chose to ride from Union Square at 7pm. Often ending up at the...

MOONLIGHT RIDE
I don't think I really need to explain this one, seeing as it is so successful. Right? http://times-up.org/index.php?page=moonlight-ride-manhattan

TIME'S UP PLANNING MEETING
Want to lead an awesome ride? Want to save a community garden? Join the environmental direct action group as they plan events for the Fall! This is what democracy looks like! http://times-up.org/calendar/detail.php?calendarid=2925

TRUTH TO POWER RIDE TO THE 78TH PRECINCT
Brooklyn's 78th Precinct is assigned once a month to bring dozens of motor vehicles to follow around cyclists exercising their right to the road. I think they should ride bikes with us instead. Rumor has it that they are assigned to deal with cyclists applying for the allegedly constitutional "parade permit". If you have any complaints/praise about how NYPD does or doesn't enforce traffic laws, this is a great opportunity to speak your truth to power. Last Tuesday of every month, 7:30pm, 65 6th Avenue, Brooklyn

Riding a bike is a simple act. Riding together should be simple too. BikeLove!

Laws are the new Anarchy

2010-07-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

Well, its been ages since I've posted. I wish I had the energy to keep it up. But I just don't right now. I am too busy preparing to become a police officer, so that I can get away with assaulting and killing, like so many of our other brave men and women in uniform around the world.

The law is a joke, the justice system is a joke, NYPD is a joke, Judges Kaplan and Wiley are big clowns. We are all the punchline.

Ride safe, no matter what the law says.

The low-down on the show-down

2010-06-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

I am reduced at this point to posting an e-mail I sent...hope you can all make it for a historic Friday.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mellow Yellow

Date: Tue, Jun 22, 2010 at 11:03 AM
Subject: Bike Power funspill continues to wreak havok on mundane life!!

To: brooklynmass@lists.mutualaid.org

Hey you. Yeah, you, looking so good on that bike, or unicycle. You on those roller blades, or that long-board. You, loving yourself, your streets, your city, and your community. Its summer! After a week recovering from that epic WNBR, I think I am not the only one ready to roll out together again! Below are some suggestions to maximize your good times in the coming weeks. Spread the word (FB pleez!), spread the love...

TUESDAY 6/22

OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP DANCE RIDE!
7pm Tompkins Sq Park
Dress funky fresh and ready to bust a move

FRIDAY 6/25
DITMAS (HEART) RIDES
7pm Vox Pop (Cortelyou @ Stratford, BKLYN)
Relaxed, family-friendly ride reclaiming the beautiful streets of BKLYN every Friday however the participants want!

MANHATTAN "CRITICAL MASS" + DRAG MARCH?!? (aka Revenge of WNBR NYC!) 7pm Union Square North Everyone keeps asking for more naked riding, but we will have to settle for the fact that this month CM coincides with another "un-permitted parade": The annual NYC Drag March! I will be scantily/sparkly/gender-

bendingly clad myself, and you all should join in the fun! Come early for BODY PAINTING ~5:30pm, as our pro from WNBR can't get enough either! Police presence will be heavy, so bring lights and bells...our preemptive strike of fabulous skin, wild wigs and sequined-outfits will undo NYPD's bad motorized mojo.
Followed by...
DRAG DANCE RIDE
10pm Sheridan Square at 7th and Christopher Street
From XsUp web site: "Because forty-one years ago, we learned that nothing says resistance like a street full of queens in six-inch heels. Tonight well have hundreds of them. Plus a sound bike! A festive celebration of bikes, colors, streets and New York's unique culture of resistance. Drag is what you make it."

FRIDAY JULY 2

!ST FR!DEAY!
7pm Union Square North
Pirate radio transmitting funky music for the new Critical Mass on the First Friday of the month! Two bike sound systems plus an army of FM radios strapped to our bikes will have the streets of NYC booming with bike power. This is serious!!!!

DITMAS (HEART) RIDES
7pm Vox Pop (Cortelyou @ Stratford, BKLYN)
Relaxed, family-friendly ride reclaiming the beautiful streets of BKLYN every Friday however the participants want!

STATEN ISLAND CRITICAL MASS
7pm Meet at Steps of Staten Island Borough Hall

Alrighty, thats plenty for now. My apologies if you get this multiple times, as I am still fine-tuning the list. If you want to get off of this spam-train, just let me know and I'll pull the emergency break and take you off!

If you just can't get enough of this, please follow on twitter and check out the blog which will someday soon be updated again!

Ride Safe,
Mellow Yellow
twitter: critmasspanic

World Naked Bike Ride NYC 2010

2010-06-14T13:54:00.000-07:00

There are many, many, many photos of Saturday's WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE NYC. Preparing for this event is the reason I have not updated this blog in weeks and weeks. What follows is a "brief" account of the WNBR from one participant's perspective. Would love to hear more, and will post them here as I am able:

I had always heard about naked protests. But no one ever really followed up. One thing or another, but talk rarely followed with action. Sure there were exceptions – ACT UP’s Drop the Debt naked DC during the RNC in 2004 being the most recent example.

But the body has always been a battleground. And those who revel in it represent a Bachnalian counter voice in struggle against the prohibitive logic of the Comstocks, Carry Nations, Guilianis, and so on. “Capitalism – it needs sadness,” lamented John Jordan in an interview with me a couple of years ago. It needs docile, obedient bodies. Yet, when these bodies reject orders and access their capacity for feeling, new worlds come together. “Dig Your Bodies, Not the Planet” activists screamed the day of the ride.

I knew it would be a lovely ride when I arrived at Grand and Williamsberg waterfront and saw the afternoon sun shining on the water, with so many people out to enjoy that moment. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith tells a story about the day he wrote “Dream on” he watched the sun on the waterfront.

This was going to be one of those moments.

I saw a couple of activists from ACT UP and SexPanic! who had long fought anti-sex, anti pleasure forces in the city. So were activists from all the Critical Mass battles, the anti war movement, as well as the Radical Homosexual Agenda.

I gave several press interviews, emphasizing that there had been way too much indecent exposure to dangerous toxins in the air, oil in the water, and pollutents in the mental environment. We were here to celebrate decent exposure to non-polluting transportation, to celebrate our bodies. In a world with war and gloom, it was great to enjoy our bodies and communities. Yet, these bodies are vulnerable. We need safe streets, water and air.

We’d worked to make sure it was a safe place. Just cause it’s a nake bike ride does not mean people would have any more opportunity for unwelcome touch or comments than any other day.

We wanted it to be safe and respectful. Without justice, there can be no joy.

Teressa stood on a rock to usher us off and one man screamed, “lets ride” which we did.

Police followed but nothing really happened.

I knew it was going to be a success as we zipped down the Williamsburg Bridge into the City.

“Its like the pre 2004 Critical Mass rides,” observed one friend.

It took a while to find the appropriate chant. “Whose Street, Our Streets” didn’t take off.

This wasn’t just any protest. “More ass, less gas” that took off. “More nude, less nude” was also a hit.

“Less slick, more… “ didn’t fly.

We crossed Houston through the Lower East Side to stop a BP where we occupied the station.

Up to the UN at and then down to Washington Square park where we danced and swam as hoards screamed and celebrated. Riding through the East Village one man, pulled his pants downt to compliment us. “If you’re doing it, we can to.”

Throughout the ride, people were amazingly respectful. Through each ride, we create a ritual space with music, dance and bodies which opens up the cities to the colors of what NYC has been and can be again. We create a moving amoeba, carnival, a luminal space in between one order and another in which people felt comfortable to be more open to each other. It is an amazing space. I do not want to go back to the more clothed, more closed way people usually are. I hope I do not have to.

Bike month: WTF have we learned?

2010-05-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

It has been a long month indeed, and here at the end, I am putting up the briefest of updates, as my attention has moved towards actively participating in WNBR NYC, which happens on June 12, an international movement of missions, methods, and structure as CM. Please consider joining me and other participants in creating the streets and the world we dream is possible.

As far as the streets that we have right now, there are great things happening, but there is still plenty to be desired. Last month's fizzled "bomb" in Time's Square created the intended fear in the populace, resulting in many somethings seen and somethings said to the authorities. Many a refrigerator, oddly-painted concept car, and red-backpack-containing-slippers were found in various places of possible significance and safely inspected, smashed, or detonated by the NYPD.

Now, I am of course tempted to brag about how many amazing rides put on by our diverse community succeeded in this month of bikes, as more people took to two wheels and experienced the freedom of getting around by bike, the sort freedom that the "terrorists" hate so much. It may be that this freedom is a result of NYPD failing to enforce traffic laws with any sort of consistency, but more likely it is a result of using a simple, sensible machine that allows for more exposure to the lovely urban landscape and a connectedness to its other inhabitants.

Due to the nature of this blog, I can't make much mention of a fun, positive, spontaneous and participatory ride on the first Friday of the month, nor could I discuss eating burritos by the East River on Cinco de Mayo con cyclistas, and especially not any glamorous dance bike rides. I really can't go into detail about how many parrots, biking families, nor delicious flavors of icy and roti sampled in Ditmas Park. There may have been bike jumbles, and bike fetishes, but they did not require much law enforcement that I know of. There will be no discussion of touring LES gardens dressed up like veggies to raise awareness of the potential threat of development by the city, or rambunctious rides with many little dogs in baskets. Freegan bike field-days and vegan bike-picnics, bike-washes, bike punk shows, future-greenway rides and playing hookey to hit the beach could were not "actionable intelligence" nor "credible threats." And the thousands of people biking to work for a day, or a week, or even the whole month? The fevered dreams of madmen, as far as NYPD is concerned!

So, where were those noble men and women who have taken so well to taking order from above so that those of us below might remain "safe"? The masses of them spent the whole month in Time's Square it would seem. Admittedly, a huge turnout of over a hundred cyclists to the Central Park Moonlight ride did attract a lone NYPD interceptor, which cut a dance party in the echoing halls of Bethesda Terrace.

NYPD apparently is approaching people on bicycles with the assumption that 3 or more constitute an unlawful assembly.

I heard a rumor that Staten Island CM is re-branding to be the Staten Island Ride or something. Its a pity that the only CM game in town that has consistently received positive reviews from local powers-that-be has to ditch the classic name loaded down with so much negative publicity, but I guess it is good to quit while ahead.

The END of BIKE MONTH

2010-05-27T23:57:00.000-07:00

It is the end of bike month, and I am pretty sick of it. But not as sick as I am of hundreds of thousands of gallons of oil being pumped into the ocean everyday. Not to mention millions of tons of greenhouse gases emitted by automobiles. And of course I am very sick of the disrespect bikes (and pedestrians) get on the streets of NYC. But certainly I am not as sick of it as I am of cyclists, pedestrians and motorists being killed or maimed by cars everyday here. I am sick of the police wasting tax-dollars to harass Critical Mass riders, but not as sick as I am over the hypocrisy of Bloomburg's "green" NYC.

The truth is, it has been a beautiful bike month. This spring has brought so many more bicyclists, both new and old, it is hard to not have hope. More group rides, more community, more courteous and safer riding. Every time a three or four or even a massive five find themselves waiting together at an intersection, I realize that I am seeing the future of traffic. It is BIKES!

How not to update a blog

2010-05-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I am the worst at keeping this up. Its like feeling nauseous but being unable to vomit. Only through the sheer discomfort of gagging my errant thoughts can I semi-coherently rant online about subjects such as group bike rides and police over-reaction to such events. Writing this also requires resisting sweet allure of constant riding due to Bike Month.

Today, however, being rainy and cold, I spent a three hours watching "The Power of Nightmares," a BBC documentary from a few years back about how the "Global War on Terror" is just a fantasy created by a handful of people. I highly recommend it, and if you're able to see it perhaps you will better understand why it is that NYPD continues to fantasize about Critical Mass being populated by "professional anarchists" who pose some vague threat to the city. Note the vile emphasis on that phrase as Pat Lynch of the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association reacts to the recent Pogan verdict.

Try not to note the potentially valid yet incendiary words of the un-doubtly well-paid "professional" heckler. Many thanks to Team Spider for this awesome footage.

On that note, as wanna-be-Luddite, I do not own a digital camera of my own and am therefore dependent upon contributions for readers and community members who are more tech-savvy for cool things like photos and videos. Feel free to send them on in. Otherwise, instead of this blog becoming a creation of our diverse community (like so many group bike rides), it would instead become a tedious re-hashing of material from other sources online (like so much "news" these days). Either way, I hope you will stay tuned, if simply to keep up with NYC CM without the trouble of having to attend.

Without further ado, here's some long overdue re-hashing of the facts that are true simply because there is so little evidence to the contrary:

BROOKLYN CRITICAL MASS APRIL 2010: Jeez, how can I possibly remember what happened nearly a month ago? I recall a sizable crowd of 25 or so cyclists were joined by Deputy Inspector John from the 78th precinct, 3 or 4 cars of various size and marking, and 6 zippy scooter patrolmen.

Keep in mind that this ride occurred pre-Pogan-verdict, so perhaps the officers were a bit lenient on the participants. Some members of the group were wavering due to low blood-sugar, so a consensus was reached to roll a few short blocks to Blue Marble, an ice cream store near Grand Army Plaza. A few cones and cups were purchased, while the less-professional agitators who were lacking funds simply tried small amounts of many flavors to get the fuel necessary to disrupt the traditional high-speed flow of auto traffic on the streets of Brooklyn. Meanwhile, the police double-parked in formation across the street from the local business, forming a sizable blockage to the two-way Underhill Avenue for cars to weave around. As a riders slowly walked with bikes to the corner, John and a few other blue boys came over to inquire about where the ride was going. A street one block over was suggested by a rider and the police accepted that answer. The ride did indeed proceed over to and down that street, and many others, followed by the NYPD vehicles, eventually being joined by a smaller but enthusiastic group from the Williamsburg Bridge.

The ride made its way through downtown, with the aim of riding to new Brooklyn Bridge Park. Arriving there, the Mass dismounted at sign instructing them to do so, while police were able to park in a less obtrusive way. The cyclists walked to the waterfront to enjoy the sparkling view of Manhattan, perhaps wondering to themselves why they continued to be pursued by the NYPD detail, now consisting of the commanding officers promenading through the park themselves. I hope they enjoyed the pleasant destination as much as the cyclists did. Perhaps next time they can enjoy the freedom of bikes too.

MANHATTAN CM APRIL 2010: Though it occurred more recently, this ride was far more complex then one participant could possibly summarize. Therefore, I present you with some other people's accounts of the ride.

As you know, this Critical Mass occurred immediately following the Pogan verdict, and therefore attracted significant attention from the mainstream media. Such coverage can be viewed here and here. These reports seemed almost sympathetic to Critical Mass participants, but also they fail to show anybody actually riding a bike. For all we know this could be some staged, phony show by the professional anarchists, who no doubt become savages once they are actually mounted on their vehicles. It is clear from the soundtrack of this video, if not the footage itself, that the participants are ruining the city.

Thank you Dedicated Lane Productions. The truth is that I am a bit jealous that I missed this part of the ride, as it had split into several groups early on.

The walk-out of the previous month and the call for more ghost riders by the artist Christophe Draeger to come out created great anticipation to what would transpire. More importantly, the weather was finally pleasant enough to attract a number of participants whom would exceed recently-constitutional NYPD parade permit regulations.

The numbers of police, media, cyclists and passers-by certainly exceeded the 49 person limit by a hundred or so, while ghost riders dressed in all white were massive half-dozen or so of participating bodies. All of the notorious top cops whom we've seen in early episodes of Critical Mass enforcement were present: The always suave and charming community affairs officer, seen attempting to woo known "professional" anarchist, Chris Long.

From NYPD Legal, Lt. Dan Albano, seen skulking in jealousy of an even balder man.

Transportation Chief James "Jimbo" Tuller, a Darth-Vader-in-a-business-suit, instructed his white-shirted stormtroopers on the the nuances of RCNY § 4-12 (p).

Now, its best not to keep in mind how much all these important cops earn to stand around protecting the constitution and keeping cyclists safe. It is even more important to not misinterpret these screenshots from the video as proof of what the above community affairs officer told at least one participant prior to the ride, something to the effect of "People will be handcuffed, even for summonses." Do your best, dear reader, to avoid seeing a look of disappointment on the faces of the NYPD as they realize that they are not going to get the chance to collar 50+ cyclists whom they perceive to be a coherent group. I'm personally surprised that they didn't just start enforcing the parade regulation against the throngs of people parading about Time's Square on foot.

"What went wrong?" you might ask? Well, the NYPD, by harassing the ride for half a decade now, has made the standard operating procedure of Critical Mass one of splitting up and regrouping. The mass, under intense police pressure and media scrutiny at the start, agreed to walk out of Union Square in such a way as the NYPD had to blatantly break the laws they fail to uphold on a daily basis (salmoning) in a dangerous way. Some people wanted to ride, so they took off a bit quicker than the hardcore walkers. Cyclists, in stopping at red lights, naturally divided into multiple groups. When riding, at the moment police began to squeeze the group towards the side of the road with a wall of motor vehicles, participants took the opportunity to walk away and disengage in the "game" set up by the NYPD.

The ride did regroup gradually in Time's Square for the bike lift, but became divided again, diminished by all the riding and walking. Two or three smaller groups managed to merge in Central Park, where they got a brief respite from the pursuit. NYPD eventually entered the auto-free roads within to pursue the Mass, which, with some speculation of a crackdown devoid of witnesses in the dark park, promptly headed out the Upper East Side. Slowly crawling south while obeying red lights and splitting up at intersections, riders enjoyed the peaceful streets and a shared relief that the night had not gone too sour, but for a few harassment light/reflector/4(12)p summonses. NYPD scooters attended the rear and sides of the thirty or so endurance riders.

At one point, a few eager Brooklynites, followed by several swift comrades on bikes, sped ahead and enjoyed a very safe yet fast ride free of NYPD attention. Several cyclists whom had been with the Mass earlier came across the group, causing smug satisfaction to meld with solidarity.

So that about sums up the big show from last month...one last thing I noticed in the video that a casual viewer might miss is that the one documented instance of NYPD assisting the ride was at the subtle behest of a rider of Chinese descent. Not only did the Chinese invent Critical Mass, but they also own the United States, so I am glad to see this scooter commander defer to his wishes. (Way to keep it positive, Wei!)

Of the dozens of other rides that have occurred thus far during bike month, only two were attended by the NYPD that I know of. One was the hugely actually massive 5 Boro Bike Tour, sponsored by a bank, and the other was the Kids Art Bike Parade, supported by some smaller, community-oriented organizations.

Glad to see the NYPD is helping keep this group together as well. What better time to introduce the safe leadership of the law than before they know how to read it?

Be sure to check out Draeger's art show, which has an exclusive video of the Mass playing at the gallery. Come out and roll with Brooklyn Critical Mass on Friday, May 14th 7pm Grand Army Plaza and the Williamsburg Bridge!

GAME ON!
ride safer!

Warning: Massively Positive Post

2010-05-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

We are the future! After tonight I have little doubt. Bicycles will one day soon flow through our streets as they once did in China, except even more free.

Critical Mass will be a game made up of gangs who compete for fewest violations, largest size, and best route. GHOST RIDDAZZZ REPRESENT

No lights can go off on their own.

Wow the NYC game is a whole 'nother level!

Pogan to be sentenced in June. Lets take the high road and work for a lean sentence, and a harder one on kelly/bloomburg. The PBA will make sure it happens, but let us take the credit!

http://www.ny1.com/1-all-boroughs-news-content/top_stories/117933/trial-aside--critical-mass-rider-heads-back-out

GHOST RIDE THE MASS TONIGHT!

2010-04-30T01:23:00.000-07:00

Will you join the Ghost Rider tonight?

Wear white on you bike and body

APRIL 30th, 2010
7PM Union Square North

NYPD FAILURE

2010-04-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

How many more cops will learn to lie?

How many more tax dollars will we kiss goodbye?

How many more cyclists and pedestrians need to die?

Poor Pogan! Framed?

2010-04-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

Mr. Conners (Prosecutor) Q: How many times have you viewed this video?
Mr. Pogan (Defendant) A: Too many times.

Last Tuesday, April 20th, the NYPD deftly executed a humiliating blow to the good reputation of an anti-authoritarian, veteran, pot-smoking, deadly-driver but merely-reckless cyclist in the guise of a "criminal" trial against the doe-eyed Patrick Pogan. This case has had wide coverage in the media due to sensational aspects of the case and the above-mentioned, apparently not-so-damning video footage. What most reportage is missing is the clear case the defense has made that a larger conspiracy against the NYPD is being played out. The proof of anarchist-infiltrations of Critical Mass has at last been laid bare by the vocal maneuvering of slick, archetypical lawyer for former-officer Patrick Pogan, Mr. Stuart London.

A quick aside: As a human being, I occasionally suffer bouts of empathy and compassion. Just as all who view the video of the inertial-halting-vector-change inflicted upon the cyclist flinch upon impact, I can't help but feel bad for Patrick Pogan. No doubt growing up as the dutiful son to detective dad, Patrick was proud to finally wear the uniform, only to make a huge mistake and loose it all very quickly. Sometimes in life though, we must pay for our poor decisions.

According to Mr. London, however, this was no mistake on Officer Pogan's part. How could it possibly be coincidence that the145 lb part-time farmer, cyclist Chris Long, would just happen to hit the innocent, freshest fruit of a proud NYPD family tree? Breaking down the anarchist plot, Mr. London pressed Mr. Long on the stand for information regarding his "classified" activities within the U.S. military, the source of his radicalizing cannabis, and the Soviet origins of his wife. "I wouldn't say it is convenient!" quipped Mr. Long in response to Mr. London's suggestion that he'd married so that she might have citizenship.

The defense, in building the case for the vast anarchist conspiracy, pointed to striking additional video evidence, not seen millions of times on YouTube. Showing the moments prior to the fateful collision, other cyclists are "corking" traffic on both 7th Avenue and 46th Street as Long, raising both hands in the air and letting out a "whooooo!" against the autos and the authorities, then makes his self-sacrificial charge at the un-witting rookie cop.

This second video, in fact, was created by another agent provocateur within the Mass, filming Long's martyr moment undoubtedly for the purpose of recruiting more bicycle jihadists. Acting as a triple-agent, this videographer provided what appeared at first glance to justify Pogan's forceful traffic stop, only to have Assistant District Attorney Ryan Conners, the prosecutor (and likely anarchist-collaborator) turn this evidence around to show that Pogan had signed off on statements regarding the situation that appear to be untrue!

Pointing to his terrible record as a motor vehicle operator, the defense tried to establish that Mr. Long was also an extremely reckless cyclist. In an interview with a journalist after the incident, Mr. Long described a maneuver straight from the outlaw culture of messengers, wherein a cyclist, cut off by a car making a sudden right turn, can minimize injury to bike and body by rolling over the hood of the car while tossing his ride in the opposite direction. This sounds like smart planning, and perhaps now that NYPD knows that radical cyclists are able to dismount a bike in this fashion, they might institute training to safely take down cyclists with a quick right turn from a cruiser, rather than the messy body-check tactic allegedly employed by Pogan.

Under all the weight the best lawyer the Patrolmen's Benevolence Association could muster for the cause, Mr. Long admitted under oath, the American flag, and the words "In God We Trust" (and the stern gaze of Alan Alda look-a-like Judge Maxwell Wiley) that he was anti-government, anti-police, and thinks riding bikes is fun. He also revealed the intricate structure which makes Critical Mass such an effective terrorist organization: they meet at the same time and place every month. This is a coup for the NYPD, who now have confirmed evidence on the group of bicyclists that "create a hazard to drivers" by participating in the flow of traffic in city streets. Long admitted what the authorities have frequently suspected to be true: cyclists have a greater right to the public streets than cars. Mr. London, who must be moonlighting as a psychologist, demonstrated that Mr. Long's hatred of cars was sparked by the way using one over a decade ago tragically resulted in the death of an elderly pedestrian.

The rest trial last week consisted of witnesses who helped establish the incompetence of the police department and the District Attorney's office at properly administering "justice," at least in this case. This is somewhat odd, considering the Defense and its supporters are so deeply involved with the NYPD, while the prosecutor representing "The People" hails from the DA's office.

On the last days of testimony, Mr. Pogan himself was on the stand. Again, my sympathies to the young man for his lost job and the personal attacks he has suffered in the media and blog-o-sphere. The widespread condemnation of his actions by the public might hint at even larger anti-police conspiracies festering in the bike shops of our fair society. The young man who had his job taken away by these dark forces answered with the clarity and recall that one would expect from any of New York's Finest.

During closing arguments on Monday April 26th, the defense continued their blistering attacks of Critical Mass, Mr. Long, the NYPD and the DA's Office. Just who exactly set this poor cop up?

Mr. Conners, in his summation, continued, like a broken record, to encourage the Jury to look at the video evidence and decide for themselves. They were then left to deliberate, and justice will no doubt be served up shortly.

Stuart London repeatedly characterizes Critical Mass participants as "professional agitators." This news may be upsetting for many rides participants who have yet to receive a single paycheck from the secret anarchist cabal. Actually, when one looks at the demographic breakdown of recent Critical Mass rides, the most consistent attendees are indeed paid, just as Mr. Long was, by the City of New York. These other professionals definitely have a specific political agenda that they promote through the threat of violence. Unfortunately they have not realized that they could vastly increase their pay and efficiency through the use of bicycles instead of motor vehicles.

"Are we being manipulated by an organization to a certain extent?" Mr. London asked the jury. The answer, undoubtedly, is "yes."

Paradigm shifting with a broken derailluer

2010-04-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling lately to keep up with a weekly posting to this blog. I am still feeling this blog out, and just as my patience in waiting for the subway or politicians to change my life is short, so too is my attention span. And time keeps moving forward! Damn!

The mass is about diversity, spontaneity, and creativity. There are so many individuals and groups making plans for exciting rides every day. We just need to have a central and objective place to connect these rides. The only thing that prevents the normalization of mass bicycle traffic is the that we do not do it enough.

Twitter may be a good tool for this, but there are many others. A diversity of tactics to connect and maintain that which is most important: community.

Amassing the Masses: CM 2.0?

2010-04-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling lately to keep up with a weekly posting to this blog. I am still feeling this out, and just as my patience is short when waiting for the subway to move me around or for politicians to change my life, so too is my attention span. And time keeps moving forward! Damn!

Almost everyday my irrational obsession with Critical Mass is challenged by my friends, by the authorities, by the haters, and by common sense. One blogger recently put the question "Has Critical Mass run its course?" to his readers. The responses provide many good answers to the question, and I would encourage you to check it out.

Of course, pinning down a the purpose of an amorphous, non-hierarchical movement is tough to do. Every participant is in it for her or his own reasons. To me, at its most basic, CM is a celebration of non-polluting transport and community. At its best the Mass creates a space for diversity, spontaneity, creativity and fun that many folks rarely enjoy in this modern world. When we ride, we practice how safe, sustainable and fun our streets can be. How can we recover this space from decades of bad press, dangerous motorists, and harassment from the "authorities"?

In NYC the situation has been drastic, as the Mass has been thoroughly marginalized and repressed. Is there hope for the future? Obviously my answer is yes, otherwise I can't get up in the morning. But what form does that take? In the old days, a paper-dependent "xerocracy" was used to promote the mass. In our new digitized internet civilization, there is room for improvement on this model. Luddite though I may be, I decided to bow to the techno-deity and start this blog for that reason.

With spring in the air I have come to the joyful realization that there are many individuals and groups making plans for exciting rides all the time. Here, perhaps, is a solution! If we can open channels of communication, and open our minds to the possibilities, we can ride Massive all the time. Twitter (follow me @ critmasspanic) may be a good tool for this, but there are many others. A diversity of tactics is crucial to connect and maintain that which is most important: community. The only thing that prevents the normalization of mass bicycle traffic is the that we do not do it enough. The following report describes a small success in how we can merge the Masses.

April's !st fR!deay last week saw a historic meeting of the masses, as Staten Island CM, which also occurs on the first Friday of the month at 7pm, crossed the Upper New York Bay to join Manhattan's monthly celebration.

A diverse group of over a dozen riders made good time from Union Square North down Broadway to the Staten Island Ferry Terminal. There they were joined soon after by a half-dozen bicyclists from "the forgotten borough." With a solid group approaching twenty, the ride enjoyed a tour of Battery Park and the start of the Hudson Greenway. One more cyclist, who happened to know one of the Mass riders, joined up.

The group was impatient to enjoy the safety in the streets such numbers afford cyclists, the Mass joined motor traffic and continued north. The SI CM participants proved adept at corking and keeping the group together. Allegedly, they have enjoyed support of borough officials and police in SI, rather than harassment, since they began riding. Apparently being frequently ignored by the central political establishment of the City has allowed the borough to foster a safe and positive ride. If the Bronx and Queens get a regular CM scene together, perhaps this more sensible policy towards cyclists can become the dominant paradigm, as opposed to re-enactment of the 2004 RNC which cyclists face on the last Friday of the month in Manhattan.

One !st fR!deay rider had a hot tip on a wedding party at a midtown yoga studio, so the group headed in that direction at the promise of free food. As is often the case with Critical Mass, upon arriving at the "destination," many folks who were enjoying riding wanted to keep doing so. They no doubt had a blast. A massive 5 riders went in just in time to catch the nuptial vows.

A small and semi-traditional affair, the touching ceremony was followed by a massive buffet. Though having ridden for almost two hours at a leisurely pace, the riders could only put a small dent in the food-pile.

Fortunately, thanks to the power of community and technology, the wedding party was able to merge with yet another group, the Time's-Up "Moonlight Ride". Over a dozen hungry cyclists arrived in the nick of time to further Time's-Up's environmental direct action agenda by ensuring that very little food would be headed for the dumpster. This brings up another positive argument for free-roaming group rides: they could be summoned in short order by any individuals or entities with too much food on their hands. I guess it is like using cooking grease from McDonald's to power a bio-diesel car, where the waste powers the transportation!

A good times were had by all as riders dispersed in smaller groups, with full bellies and tin-foil-covered plates of rice pilaf and brisket.

Perhaps nights like this can teach us how, if we just keep in touch with each other and be willing to take a chance with strangers, we can all reap the benefits of a healthier community and planet. I am certain to delve deeper into these "posi-core" solutions, so I'd recommend that if this bores you, maybe skip the reading in this blog and just look at the pictures of cyclists being beaten by police, who are still living in medieval times under King Bloomburg and Sir Kelly the Cycle-smasher, which will be produced in the coming warm months as people remember that public space is public and that cars are weak-sauce. Or perhaps we'll see a renaissance of enlightened thinking from the city.

Ride Safer! Ride Massive!

NYPD: Cyclists must walk!

2010-04-03T00:22:00.000-07:00

A brief note on how I like to make my own contribution to the human language. In promoting some rides, I have started to refer to Friday as fRideay, which is basically pronounced the same but implies that it is a day to ride (massively if possible), in addition to being a day of the week. Just wanted to let you all know. Now that this has been posted on the internet I presume it is official.

Now while last month's Critical Mass Walk seemed to bother some of the NYPD officers assigned to "safely escort" the "ride," this fRideay night, instead of encouraging cyclists to ride, they are actively discouraging it. In yet another attempt to ride smoothly through the new "pedestrian paradise" on Broadway, where the night is lit like day around Times Square, I was strongly encouraged (ordered?) to dismount my bicycle through the red painted pedestrian area. Now, I support pedestrian only areas. But can someone please explain to me how a cyclist may safely remain on her bicycle and perhaps not have to stop in this area? Up to this point you've enjoyed a better designed and marked physically separated bike lane, and then you are suddenly dumped into a red pavement zone only marked by a small yellow sign that is posted a bit too high to really notice.

I've ridden down this street too many times to have not figured it out, but if someone can clue me in to how all the lane changes and stuff are supposed to work for bikes around Bloomburg's Broadway, I'd appreciate it.

Oh yes, and thank you to the NYPD for respectfully directing my attention to the sign in a courteous and professional way.

Above you'll see a video still from the area prior to the renovation. NYPD did not have little signs to point to back in March of 2009.

Yes indeed. If I had not had such a glorious !st fR!deay! already that evening I might have been upset. Stay tuned for that report soon.

ride safe and seen on the scene.

CM 03/10: WALK OUT!!!

2010-03-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

Wet and cloudy skies earlier in the day dried up just enough to allow a gorgeous sunset around 7pm last Friday. Though the damp day had been replaced by a cool evening, dozens of bicycle riders and other free-wheeling types gathered at Union Square North.

Approximately 30 people with bikes socialized for approximately 45 minutes in the approximate center of the approximately public space. The "Guardians of Safety," a.k.a. the NYPD, smartly positioned themselves around the un-licensed street-users who were a mere 20 people short of being illegally lacking a parade permit. Their brassy finery sparkling in the urban dusk like so many stars in the pre-industrial twilight-skies, top cops huddled between SUVs and motor-scooters creating a formidable mass of metal and flesh on the northwest corner. To the southwest, a less-dazzlingly attired half-dozen scooter patrol-men lounged around. Though looking bored and perhaps a bit cold, these, the most-mobile of police man/vehicle hybrids available, were ready to pursue any cycling citizens from the group. A brilliant assignment, lest those people suddenly forget how to safely operate their vehicles of choice in the city streets. A few plain-clothes and possibly under-cover "Protectors of the Constitution" rounded things out to approximately 20 NYPD police men (starting salary $44,744/year!), joined by about 15 of their secret robotic masters, the motor vehicles.

In a disturbing denial of their circumstances, the bicycle riders played it cool and casual. Small-talk and snack-sharing were pervasive in the group. A number of riders were visiting NYC from other countries. Several were allegedly from Hungary, where Critical Mass in Budapest only happens twice a year but draws 20,000+ cyclists. One of these foreign operatives came prepared for a kamikaze mission apparently. Pre-emptively dawning white garb and riding a white bike (so that a ghost bike might be immediately erected in his honor) the man lacked the appropriate lights (which many NYC cyclists would agree is tantamount to suicide). A plain-clothes "community affairs" officer was merciful enough to point it out to him, intervening in his obvious bid for traffic martyrdom.

Perhaps perceiving their entrapped state on a subconscious level, the gathered cyclists spontaneously transformed themselves into pedestrians and walked southwards along the west edge of the park. Saftey-minded participants gave appropriate hand signals as the group executed a left turn, deeper into the park, followed immediately by a right turn into the bench-lined promenade, curiously devoid of any other traffic. NYPD Scooters appeared at the rear of the mass, corralling the pedestrians and encouraging a continued southward stroll. Some participants, already exhausted from the trek, briefly occupied park benches, but sensing the hot pursuit quickly rejoined the herd. The group escorted the un-mounted bikes through Union Square South, utilizing crosswalk at the legal moment to traverse 14th street and continue along a pedestrian-approved sidewalk.

Critical Walkers enjoyed the perfectly legal "two-abreast" traipse down Broadway, then 4th avenue for several blocks, while other foot-traffic on the sidewalk continued to flow with minimal disruption. The Scooter Brigade, back in their element with the motor vehicle traffic, kept the lane nearest the sidewalk at a crawl as they followed the pedestrians, who continued to socialize and enjoy the night out.

As if commanded by some unseen hand, the long march of bikes changed course several times, mostly enjoying the two-way sidewalks along one-way streets. In a bold move to keep road users safe, the NYPD scooter brigade engaged in a low-speed, salmon-style pursuit via the bike lane of the side-walk cycle-pushers.

Eventually reaching the 2nd avenue, some in the crowd were impatient to ride. With all the smug self-righteousness that accompanies a non-polluting, easily-parked and inexpensive mode of transportation, the pedestrians again transmutated into road users. Herded tightly in the bike lane by NYPD scooters, the cyclists rode a few blocks. Awaiting a red light to change green, some in the mass indicated that the police were about to make their move. Predictions came true when the traffic signal switched, and a few young men who were lacking flashing lights were ordered off bikes, back to the sidewalk, and to hand over indentification. The iron fist of justice (administered by the courteous Officer Schneider, pictured left) successfully smashed the mass, as some cyclists rode on, and others returned to pedestrian status.

After the important ticketing business was finished, walk/ride participants slowly attempted to regroup by walking west on Houston, again followed by NYPD scooters. Sucessfully re-grouping near Lafayette, cyclists socialized more and discussed the "success" of the night. The Scooter Brigade nearly managed to park their vehicles without obstructing a cross-walk while awaiting the next move of the remaining dozen or so riders. Another re-group was suggested within the mass, and bicyclists slowly dispersed. A massive 5 or so riders met up at Astor place, and after waiting for a bit, were joined by the Scooter Brigade again. Much like the half-life of a radioactive element, with each disruption the "ride" grew smaller, until it dissappated into non-existence. Police went on to other less-important task and eventually home to enjoy their well-earned pay.

The attitude of some law-enforcement agencies towards bikes has become increasingly accomodating towards cyclists. It will be disappointing when Ray Kelly rides for a publicity stunt during his mayoral run, yet continues to have the NYPD waste time and money field dozen of officers and motor vehicles only twice a month to give out tickets to cyclists lacking bells and lights. Consistent traffic enforcement and training officers to tone down their auto-centric bias would be far preferable to seeing Kelly in spandex.

Ride as safely as the law allows, and then ride even safer. Especially on 1st Friday, 4/2 7pm Union Square North!

All the promise of spring

2010-03-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

Bike bells ring, will you
slow down, I'll speed up, together
we make the streets bloom

Riding through the winter months, one can easily forget how densely populated New York City is. With the onset of summer-like conditions last week the streets of Brooklyn were suddenly and utterly filled with happy people on bicycles. Roving masses of 5 or 6 riders occurred intentionally and not.

It is going to be a beautiful spring and summer. Ride safe!

FAIL - Bkyln CM March

2010-03-12T19:28:00.000-08:00

Two riders chatting in the heavily-misted Grand Army Plaza failed to attract the attention of the two other bicyclists who happened to pass through around 7pm. Police tripled their vehicle presence from last month, with two unmarked cars and a van.

The apparent lack of interest led one rider to depart. The other made a phone call, then proceeded to make his way out to the street. The driver of an undercover vehicle asked the rider if anyone else was going to show up. The rider answered in the negative, and then invited the officers to escort him down Flatbush Avenue. Though the banter between the lone wet cyclist and the three or four officers packed into the sedan was cordial, the NYPD declined the opportunity to fulfill its duty to police Critical Mass to the fullest extent of the law, and beyond.

I'd really like to know if there is any standard police protocol for how many cyclists constitute a Critical Mass. As we saw last month, four cyclists constituted a "Critical Mass" worthy of pursuit.

In the interest of not letting this be the most dismal CM post ever, I am attaching for your viewing pleasure an additional photo from March's !st fR!deay. How quickly time flies. April !st fR!deay (4/2, 7pm UnSqNo) will be awesome! Come out and show how massive NYC can been anytime of the month!

Straight from the pig's mouth

2010-03-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

A recent memoir by a police officer in Minnesota who did undercover surveillance of civilians planning protests the 2008 RNC. His book is full of juicy facts, and this lovely excerpt on Critical Mass is a highlight:

We met at Loring Park, straddling bikes scrounged from the police bicycle impound garage. Like the ugly, rheumy-eyed dog from the pound that nobody wanted, these were unclaimed bikes that would be auctioned off or given away. They were not in terrible shape, but neither were they modern, well cared for, or tuned up. A bike aficionado from our department lubed up the gears and checked the brakes. He probably saved our lives.

After some encouraging words from Minneapolis Police Chief Tim Dolan, we sat off on the streets of downtown Minneapolis with the Minneapolis Bike Cops as escorts. The beautiful late-August day was warm and sunny. Five hundred riders filled both lanes of traffic for about five or six city blocks. The bike cops made sure that cars sharing the roads yielded to us. Some of these drivers had to wait five minutes to wait for the entire group to pass. Forcing drivers to wait for us felt rude but hurtling down the road and upshifting through red-light intersections empowered us as we took over the streets. Maybe there was something to this Critical Mass this after all. I leaned over to Leigh who peddled beside me and whispered, "We're getting paid for this!"

Even cops can enjoy riding bikes together. Too bad NYPD can't afford to refurbish a few impounds and get the officers assigned to police the rides to shed a few pounds.

Tune in to 106.3

2010-03-06T16:05:00.000-08:00

Friday's "!st fR!deay" was immensely successful! Thank you to all who came out and made the streets a little more fun and kind. A few auto-automatons called riders harmless names, while a few used their motor-boxes to threaten fellow road users in a not-so-harmless way. Other than this, the reception on the streets from the car-free street-users was warm and friendly, especially thanks to the radio transmitter that kept the funky tunes flowing from several radios that riders strapped on to their bikes. "Tune your radio to 106.3!" became the ride's rallying cry.

!st fR!deay did, however, experience a bit of token police harassment. While traveling with traffic eastward through the Chelsea district, riders were joined by a lone NYPD Interceptor vehicle. At ninth avenue, the group stopped at a red light. The physically-separated bicycle lane running down the avenue creates a marked bike-box beyond the pedestrian crosswalk. Most of the riders stopped before this crosswalk, and a few traversed the striped pavement to wait the light change in the bike-box. As they were doing so, the NYPD vehicle pulled up into a position blocking the ninth avenue bike lane (which had the green light) and engaged with one of the riders moving up. "I thought you guys were obeying all the laws," she mockingly commented, seeming suggesting that at that moment riders were committing some violation.

It is certainly true that the riders momentarily obstructed the empty crosswalk, but it is also certain that the police vehicle was blocking the right of way for bicycles going down ninth avenue, seemingly for the sole purpose of harassing law-abiding road-users.

The traffic signal changed, and the group proceeded east with the NYPD vehicle. At seventh avenue, all riders provided the exceedingly lawful right-turn signal (right arm straight out, or left arm bent up, your choice!) and flawlessly executed a turn into the far left lane, and the policewoman zipped away in her three-wheeled gas-box, but flashed riders a thumbs up out the window as she proceeded straight (gaily-forward?).

Is it wild speculation to think that maybe the NYPD policy, as ordered from on high by Bloombooger and Ray Smelly (if I may resort to juvenile name-calling), against Critical Mass has tainted the hard-working, honest police officers in New York City? Has a culture of bias against bicyclists permeated through the department at all levels, officially affirmed by a constitutional judge and apparently moderately successful in discouraging people from riding bikes or traveling safely in the streets? Does this bias breed any contempt for the police among the community of cyclists, eroding trust and faith in the legitimacy of law? When you treat certain people as outlaws long enough, do they not have much choice but to behave in an "outlaw" manner. Wild speculation indeed! And at what cost in resources, safety, and personal freedom?

A good radio show aired recently on the subject of San Francisco Critical Mass, largely due to the federal court ruling here in NYC. Check it out, and try not to wonder why we can't have some more courteous discourse on the subject here. http://www.sfcriticalmass.org/2010/03/06/kgo-radio-on-critical-mass/

Finally, a good old-school film about bike safety, which all Critical Mass participants might heed, lest we lapse in minding our own personal safety. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoj9DkcUTRU Definitely check out the cool remixes with alternative music too. Surreal!

Ride safe even if it is not lawful. It is your life.

Some friendly small-talk followed by snowballing

2010-03-01T14:42:00.000-08:00

The review of documentary photographs and video is conclusive. In a city that boasts at least 15,000 bicycle commuters, the freely (dis)organized event known as "Critical Mass" consisted of 3 cyclists this past Friday. Admittedly, the commuter statistic is derived from fair-weather riders between the months of April and October, but one would think that with this kind of population density, you could get at least 5 people to commute together on bicycles even in the dead of winter. They can do it in Anchorage Alaska. I don't know if the kids are turning this particular phrase anymore these days, but c'mon NYC, that is some weak sauce. This is lamer than an Obama presidency.

In fact, "Critical Mass" proved last week that it is easier to get people engaged in inane task of throwing snowballs at a monument, than to ride a bike this time year. This photo does not show it, but several passers-by, including a little girl, joined in coating this rock-hard tower in a fresh white splatter of snow.

You have two ways to redeem yourself.

First, vote your excuse(s) the comments section. "I skipped Critical Mass because...
A) ...it is too cold and wet
B) ...I am afraid of the police who happen to be at Union Square at the same time
C) ...Critical Mass is outdated/irrelevant/lame in today's utopian/fascist/cool society
D) ...I had to ________, and that was really fun and important

Second, come out to where the spirit of the mass lives free, on the 1st Friday ride coming up this week, Union Square North at 7pm. It is going to be a toasty 40+ degrees! Break out your Hawaiian t-shirt and leave the gloves at home. The authorities are certainly not going to happen to be there.

Well, do ride safe if you decide that cold biking is cool. Hope to see you in the streets, on two wheels, or two feets!

MCM Feb 2010: Police pay taxes too

2010-02-26T23:25:00.000-08:00

Well massive it was not, with 3 riders. 47 short of needing a permit.

Weather followed the same pattern as it has the last 8 months, a very menacing forecast followed by a downright pleasant evening, slushy streets excepted. Cool but clear, the snow let up but participants stayed away. Maybe the permit ruling scared them off.

NYPD have totally taken over this community party, with a strong prescense including 2 unmarked sedans (1 officer each), 1 unmarked minivan (2 officers), 1 unmarked SUV (2+ officers), 6 patrol cars (1-2 officers each) and 1 interceptor (1, duh). I guess the scooter brigade was also intimidated by the weather. 4-6 uniformed and less-than-uniformed (not naked, but sporting a NYPD beanies or ski-masks) milled about. So that is 11 vehicles and minimun 17 officers mobilized.

Riders and an accompanying documenting party took photos and video of the scene (coming soon!), and had some discussion with the cops. As usual a few classic verbal police maneuvers were put into force against the aural attack from the marauding cyclists (hopefully some video will verify the authenticity of these soon):

One cop asked riders if they would be participating in the 5 Boro bike tour. A CM participant told him about another ride to be held sooner. Mutual disinterest was palpable. Later in the conversation another officer asked him if he was still riding to work. I appreciate that some NYPD officers ride to work. Its a pity that they can't ride at work, especially when their assignment appears to be to police a bike ride. I am certain bikes cost less to fuel and maintain than cars.

When congratulated on the recent judicial ruling in their favor, cops got a bit defensive, stating "its not our law" or something.

Cops were questioned about the wastefulness of tax dollars sending dozens of vehicles and officers out to focus on keeping a small number of cyclists from commiting minor traffic infractions. Two responses were given. First, cops explained that they paid taxes too (on their salary), and made a big deal about paying each others salaries. I suspect the standing around chatting was worth their while nonetheless. The second response was that they were not actually gathered there in mass because Critical Mass was there, but could not offer an alternative explanation for their presence. I find it hard to believe in that coincidence.

There was a distinct sense that they did not care to be there, and this was confirmed when the most talkative of the officers admitted that this was his first mass. One rider asked if he'd be out again next month. He replied that he hope'd not! I hope not too. Not to go all tea-bagger, but this is a waste of precious money that could be used to subsidize epic development projects like the Atlantic Yards!

Police showed great restraint, refusing to follow the 3 riders after a few laps around Union Square. Easy pay-day!

In hopes of making a more massive ride as they proceeded up Park Avenue, CM participants chased savvy and insane fast-food delivery-men who busted reds and salmoned when completely un-called for just to shake the "mass." The ride got within about 20 feet of a 5 cyclist group. This critical fail was followed by some pretty tight lane-occupation up 6th Avenue. Many a large gas-guzzling NYPD vehicle were encountered along the way, but the operating officers seemed higly unconcerned with the rider's complete lack of using the snow-covered bikelane, or even keeping to the right. Hitting Central Park, riders headed to Columbus Circle for some epic snowballing against imperialist monuments situated amongst the swirling car traffic. The words honoring the noble aristocrat who led pale-skinned people to the American continent (and its vast gold and slave stocks) were never so illegible.

Some might say that a Critical Mass of 3 people in New York City is pathetic. That might be accurate, but I hope they had fun doing whatever they did tonight too.

Oh shit I just realized that nobody needs to ride CM anymore, as they can just read about it on this blog. Maybe we can ride on some other Fridays?

Everyday critical mass AKA Rush Hour AKA kill me now

2010-02-25T11:48:00.000-08:00

I had a new experience yesterday which has opened my eyes to some of the reality of transportation in NYC. I was traveling in a rental van from the Flatiron district to Bed-Stuy, then Park Slope, to move some furniture and plants. I'll add that I was responsible for making sure that the semi-precious cargo which was only semi-secured did not get completely ruined, a task that involved a bit of physical strain and some mental stress as well. The main feeling was an urgency for the task to be over.

Now I am no stranger to stress; I typically embrace a physical challenge and pride myself on my patience. This attitude might be both the cause and effect of urban bicycle commuting. But let me tell you: it is no preparation for the nightmare which is New York Rush Hour on four motor-driven wheels.

It sucks so hard! You can't move very fast. You can't avoid the potholes. You have difficulty changing lanes, or turning. The streets are locked down! It took us over two hours of driving to deliver the goods. Brooklyn was no better. The visual space was filled with boxy vehicles and blinking lights. I guess all this stress is why cars need such luxurious amenities to be comfortable, and probably why many drivers are so agitated.

Dear reader, I am sorry, I just had to bitch about this. I feel so sorry for the fools. Of course sometimes cars are necessary for moving things and people around. But anyone who chooses to drive in NYC when they could exercise by walking, biking, or enjoy the smooth and predictable rides of trains and buses is a poor, poor sucker. Drivers, do yourself a favor and try an alternative mode of transport before you get behind the wheel again. Your wallet and your sanity are at stake, not to mention our lives.

I look forward to being chased around by the cops when I join Critical Mass, cause it is not as much of a pain. A bike traffic jam is fun! Say goodbye to stress and keep it mellow. See you out in the slush tomorrow night!

Just Ice in the Streets

2010-02-20T15:40:00.000-08:00

If you are reading this blog, you probably have already been made aware of the recent judicial ruling regarding the parade regulation created by the NYPD in their attempts to control Critical Mass in New York City since 2004. The plaintiffs of the case also attempt to call foul on the police's alleged profiling and selective enforcement activities against suspected Critical Mass participants.

Here is a round-up of some of the media coverage. Be sure to check out the numerous and contentious comments which accompany these:

5BBC, Streetsblog, Gothamist , NY Times, Bike Snob NYC, Bike Blog NYC

Here's a taste of some of the testimony given by police officers at the Federal Courthouse last May, through the eyes of a court-room sketch-artist:

"Chief Tuller believes that cyclists must ride about 3 feet from parked cars, but can't recall why he believes that!"

"Deputy Inspector DeQuatro believes the NYPD is protecting the free speech of cyclists and keeping pedestrians safe."

Of course there are many tedious transcripts of the case on the 5BBC website to wade through. The casual reader of all this information might agree there is a legitimate argument for requiring a parade permit. But who organizes Critical Mass? Who will apply for a permit? Who is willing to be liable for the actions of autonomous individuals who happen to use the same mode of transport? And why is this "law" only applicable on a few nights of the month?

The reality of Critical Mass in NYC , especially in these colder months, is that more than 10 people is a huge turnout. Yet, as this video demonstrates, Bloomberg seems to insist on throwing away tax-payer dollars in order to degrade and humiliate people who chose to ride a bike. NYPD doesn't need the approval of a federal court to stop Critical Mass.

Police officers who show up to Critical Mass have to tow the line that they are doing it for the safety of cyclists, pedestrians, and motorists.

Is it really safe (or constitutional) to ride scooters against the flow of traffic in order to follow a few people walking with bicycles on the sidewalk?
Does blocking up two lanes of the street in order to crowd a group of cyclists onto the sidewalk keep traffic flowing safely?

Is it a wise use of tax-dollars to pay for the salaries of officers and the fuel for motor vehicles in this way?
Maybe consistent enforcement of actual traffic laws the other 29 days of the month would make the streets of New York safer for everyone. Maybe the facilitation of a spontaneous traffic event would keep the streets moving. Maybe tax dollars could be spent on bombs to kill people in other places, instead of ensuring that cars keep killing people here.

I hope Judge Kaplan will come out and see how it feels to ride a bike in NYC on the last Friday of the month, or any day for that matter. I hope you will come out this Friday to see what is going on for yourself.

Maybe together we can do something healthy, safe, and fun. Mmmmmaybe.

BKLYN CM REPORT FEB 2010

2010-02-17T19:33:00.000-08:00

Four cyclists came out to Grand Army Plaza in Brooklyn on the second Friday of February. None of the several cyclists passing by could be recruited for the ride. The four riders were approached by the lone NYPD SUV on the scene, containing four officers, which had arrived shortly after 7pm. A cordial conversation ensued with Deputy Inspector John A. Argenziano of the 78th precinct who is typically assigned to be at that location at that time. One rider remarked upon the dramatically-reduced police presence. The inspector proceeded to gesture to his oak leaf pin and explain how his rank meant he could easily summon many more police forces if need be. The four riders agreed that to be a fact. He asked where the ride was going, and the consensus was that the ride would go around the main loop of Prospect Park. Apparently eager to safely escort the ride, the inspector asked if the ride would be proceeding at that moment. A negative reply was given, and the riders waited a few more minutes for nobody else to join them.

After one and a half laps of the park, the ride exited the park at the traffic circle off Prospect Park West. Police SUV followed about half the ice-covered distance from the main loop to the gated exit, but ended pursuit, satisfied that the ride would proceed safely on the city streets. The riders then proceeded to a warm house to enjoy hot coffee and day-old muffins.

I commend the 78th precinct on adjusting to the smaller number of riders, on what is traditionally known as "Brooklyn Critical Mass." Numbers for this allegedly-spontaneous monthly group bike ride have been about 5 riders since November, while police presence has typically been 15 motor vehicles and appoximately 20-25 officers. The savings to the tax-payer are no doubt substantial.

New Rules

2010-02-17T19:30:00.000-08:00

two wheels cut paths
slow submission to quiet
cold bright joyful streets

Changing the Game with a critical mass of snow

2010-02-14T15:13:00.000-08:00

Perhaps it is an addictive personality that drives a bicyclist to ride on days with terrible weather. Meteorological chaos disrupts the overly-oiled machine of that is New York City's motor infrastructure.

The snow on the streets at the massive quantities seen recently changes the whole game of riding.

A sinking feeling as the swiftly falling flurries become the sediment upon which your wheel rests and spins when you give the pedal the usual push, yet traction is evasive in the front as well you soon discover through the reduced visibility in the street that now leaves both wheels flopping about like so many fish-tales, swimming through the new medium.

Everyone who is not in a car has a smile as the small challenges presented to bi-pedal mobility are off-set by the beauty and the playful feelings surrounding all the potential snowballs in a softer world.

How many is massive?

2010-02-11T12:46:00.000-08:00

Due to the overwhelming demand of my one know follower I feel compelled to post immediately. I am starting to obtain a sliver of understanding of "Web 2.0". Perhaps it is a virtual critical mass: once enough people demand action, it occurs! Clearly my personal threshold for this is quite low. Usually I don't call it massive until I have to count on more than one hand. This image is from a Brooklyn Critical Mass several months ago. A massive gathering of hearty cyclists, to be sure, but really drops in the bucket compared to the raw tonnage of NYPD vehicles, flesh-filled uniforms and greenhouse-gas emissions! Don't forget to pay your taxes in the coming months, lest we lose the ability to keep our courteous public servants available to keep us safe!

I'll wax poetic on blizzard biking soon, cuz it is just the best. Hope you had some fun in the snow yesterday too.

Ride Safe!

Can you handle the CHAOS!?!?

2010-02-09T23:12:00.000-08:00

How quickly I abandon any rhyme or reason to the order of posting for the pure and simple purpose of getting the feeling of producing something. This picture shows Lt. Dan Albano of NYPD legal. Rumor has it that he's staked his reputation on stopping Critical Mass. He may or may not be responsible for determining how the police on the streets can exploit the ambiguity of laws to curb cyclists 1st amendment rights on certain Fridays. With him on the scooter is a mustachioed officer who can frequently be seen leading the "scooter brigade" on their VERY SAFE following and ticketing of Critical Mass participants. The motors in the scooters assure that they can attain SAFE speeds. Admittedly, in general this particular officer is pretty mellow and accomodating. I even once saw him attempt to influence a private auto vehicle to make way for vulnerable cyclists when the road conditions made it dangerous for them to proceed!

Many more pics from this Mass last summer, but those will have to wait. Stay Tuned and Ride Safe!

Riding Backwards in Time

2010-02-09T14:59:00.000-08:00

Ultimately, this blog will likely serve only to illuminate a few things:

- An irrational obsession with Critical Mass
- A need for attention
- A deep love of riding bicycles
- A love/hate relationship with the police
- A fascination with the behavior of swarms of bicycles

Hopefully writing a personal history of my own experiences with CM will lead to deeper reflection, understanding, wisdom of myself and this organism called "society." I will start by mentioning some highlights from masses past.

My very first Critical Mass was a huge one, San Francisco's Halloween Mass in 2001 or 2002. I can't remember. What I do recall is that someone actually had created a route map to get the ride the "fuck out of downtown". We went down to Bayview/Hunter's Point as the warm Indian summer sun set. It was a great ride, somebody was giving away little magnetic LEDs and selling bike bells for a $1. I bought one, and it served me for a very long time. See the exploded diagram. This bell was stolen along with my bike in stupid Bushwick last November. It totally prevented me from participating in NYC "critical mass" that night. Ugh.

Thanks for reading! Ride Safe!

Chronicles of the Massive movement

2010-02-08T16:36:00.000-08:00

This blog is an overdue attempt to humorously chronicle some of the inane attempts by the state to maintain the status quo of car culture. Specifically, by examining the (international) movement known as Critical Mass in New York City, I hope to entertain, inform, and encourage individuals to examine their own choices, attitudes and actions. Critical Mass is a flashpoint for the clash of cultures that occurs every day in the streets around the world, and as such is often misunderstood, both vilified and glorified. The bias of this blog will most often be towards the latter, but I welcome all viewpoints, as a diversity is strength and critique can be constructive.

I hope you enjoy, and ride safe!